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Toshiba CAMILEO 1080p Camcorder 23x Opt

Oh dear, sweet Camileo! Won’t you tell me what’s the deal’yo? Is it love for me that you feel’yo? I don’t care that you’re a Toshiba! You’ve made me a belieba, And made my heart go arriba, arriba! Yes, your backside illuminated sensor Might make our relationship that much tenser, But I swear on my […]

I’m the Big Cheese

What if animals were able to create and play video games, but otherwise their needs and desires were essentially the same? What objectives would their heroes pursue? What values would be at stake? What real-world struggles would find expression in allegorical pixels? Forget lofty abstractions like exercising power to break the Evil King’s hold over […]

Diamond Ridge Cabernet Franc (3)

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing- oh, hi! Boy, it’s been a long time since anyone caught me at work! Let me introduce myself, I’m the guy who writes the Lorem ipsum copy on all those half-finished sites all across the web. Pleased to meet you! Would you like some wine? Oh, I never […]

VIZIO 65″ 1080p 120Hz LED Smart TV

Can’t you just picture it? A golden-haired god on vocals. A blues warlock on lead guitar. A drunken jack rabbit behind the drums and a classically-trained recorder virtuoso on the bass. Excess. Wildness. A never-ending party. And a name the world would never forget: LED Smart TV. But there’s another side to things too, because […]

G & F Hyper Grip Non-Slip Work Gloves

There are many courtship traditions, ranging from flowers to poetry to ballads of love, but they all have one thing in common: at some point, if you want to commit, you’re going to have to offer your hand. And if that hand is all torn up and covered in grease and scars? Do you really […]

G & F Hyper Grip Non-Slip Work Gloves

There are many courtship traditions, ranging from flowers to poetry to ballads of love, but they all have one thing in common: at some point, if you want to commit, you’re going to have to offer your hand. And if that hand is all torn up and covered in grease and scars? Do you really […]

ZyXEL 500Mbps Gigabit Powerline Adapters

Use this: when you need power and connectivity. AT. THE. SAME. TIME. (MIND BLOWN!) Don’t use this: to improve your mood. ZyXEL might sound like a drug, but it’s not. If this were a sports broadcaster, it would say: “The call is OUT… let.” Some skeptics wonder: if allowing our power outlets to multi-task may […]

Callaway X-Out Golf Balls 12-Pack

Use these: because you believe that one little blemish shouldn’t hold it back from living out its dreams of being hit really hard, really far. Don’t use these: in an ice cream cone. Just because they’re a little lumpy doesn’t mean their melty. In 99.9% of uses, these don’t: hit the club back. At a […]

12-inch Kid’s Bicycle

There’s a rumor that a kid named Peter rides this, but you know what? It could also be a kid named Miles. Yeah, we’re gonna be honest with you. All that stuff that seems troublesome about Spider-Man gets much cooler if you just say it with a six year old’s voice. Go on, try it […]

Cuisinart 5.5 Qt. Stand Mixer

Visitor’s hours are being cut short this week because someone put Visine in the Warden’s coffee. So I’ll make this quick. I baked you a cake. I used the money that the FBI never found under the floor boards to buy one of those fancy new Cuisinart 5.5 Quart Stand Mixers. No seriously. I don’t […]