Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Mankind’s Ultimate Dream Achieved. What IS a camera, really? It’s not a way to make art, no, no, no. It’s a way to save YOU work. Without a camera, you’ve have to describe everything, and remember things correctly, and develop your ability to use language to create a mood and UGH that’s just so much […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Obey The Flashing Light The USB Mailbox Friends Alert. For when your life just isn’t Pavlovian enough. There’s the bell noise! Guess I gotta check my mail! But it sure takes a lot of time, doesn’t it? Because when I check my mail, I also have to check my Twitter, and my Facebook, and my […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
This One’s For You, Dad You’re not one of those people who can just be happy with a few rounds of Tetris. You look back at the early 80s and wonder how they survived. All those games, designed to play for a few minutes, and then… what? They just walk away? It must have been […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Perfect fit Tommy! Tommy! Come quick! They’re selling shirts! “Aww, shucks, Richie, thanks for letting me know, but I can’t wear a lot of shirts.” What do you mean, Tommy? “Well, for starters, I need to wear shirts that you can see. My mom says if I wear a shirt that you can’t see, I’m […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
No, this isn’t right at all. Are you even taking this seriously? “What? Of course I’m taking it seriously. I’m really dedicated here.” It’s just that this is the sacred rite of the satanic summoning runes. It’s our incantation to pledge our eternal infernal allegiance to the Dark Lord. And you have a laptop. “Yeah. […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Hung Up A quick FAQ for the Ooma Telo VOIP Phone. What exactly is the Ooma Telo VOIP Phone? It’s a device that you plug your high-speed internet into and then you can make free calls within the US! You only pay applicable taxes! Oh, so it’s not just a strange-looking cell phone? Nope! But […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Attention all moms New slang update! Stay “hep” to your kids’ “fresh” “lingo!” If you’re like most of us, you’ve probably experienced the fear, confusion, disorientation, and panic associated with exposure to unfamiliar slang. These feelings are normal. In fact, studies reveal that one of the principal purposes of slang is to exclude certain groups […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
Everyone Plays A Part Hi, I’m Erin Stiles, and I’m here to audition for the role of “Woman With A Handheld Blender.” So, um, here’s my headshot, my résumé, and an additional headshot of me with the Euro-Pro Ninja Warrior Handheld Blender & Food Processor. It’s the one I’ve worked with most in both my […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
You Did The Best You Could This Lenovo Intel Dual-Core Laptop with 15.6” LED Display? It’s dedicated to all those who never got their shot. Andy Rendich. CEO of Qwikster for about a week. You didn’t ask for the media frenzy. You just woke up and came into the office one morning to find out […]
Wednesday, November 9, 2011 // Woot
So I’m thinking of getting on board for this freedom fighting thing. The PC is black, but your hat can be white or gray. Or tin foil. These are crazy times, man. The haves are using their influence to keep the have-nots down. The government is just a pawn of the ultra-rich and we’re losing […]
