Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Bag O’ Crap LXVI: Crap Rage Let’s drop the charade. Nobody reading this got a Bag O’ Crap. So, to the rest of you, let’s talk. You’re disappointed, we know. We don’t exactly understand, but it’s not like that’s the only mystery of the human heart we’ve failed to plumb. Maybe it’ll help to hear […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
There’s no place like home I long for the comfort of my soul-sucking desk job. Oh no! I seem to have made some sort of terrible mistake! I was feeling overwhelmed by that “Potpourri Profits” spreadsheet. So, naturally, I plugged this Dream Cheeky Iron Man Stress Panic Button into my USB, and “Crashed” the button […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Can You Hear Me Now? Mom? Mom, it’s me, Stacy! Are you there?! Look, I just wanted to make sure you bought the right computer for Evan’s birthday! What? Mom, I can barely hear you! Look, I’m at this carnival and Evan just stepped away for a funnel cake, but I needed to touch base […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
“Hey man, you comin’ outside?” I find most backyard parties more enjoyable from inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A barbeque. The ritual of summer for Americans. A day in which we commemorate the spirits of grilling and picnics and baseball games or something. “Fine. Whatever. Be a jerk. I don’t care, just come out and be […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Light It Up All the world is a well-lit stage! Really, Tommy? Really? The day before we go live with Garage Theater’s new production, Timber! and you still don’t understand the lighting cues? Fine! We’ll go over it again! You stand on the ladder with your Energizer Hard Case LED Swivel Flashlight – make sure […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Let’s get personal Nothing says inauspicious like this Dream Cheeky USB Webmail Notifier! Listen, I’m a popular guy. I got personal emails coming at me all day, every day. But I work at a place that doesn’t allow me to access my personal email on my work computer. They even look down on it if […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
You Can Go Your Own 2-Way Fans of Doug’s Stereo System are still in shock this morning after it was announced that two members would be leaving the band. In a statement released to the press, the duo cited creative differences with the kind of music Doug’s Stereo System wanted to play. “While we are […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Stay Sharp Don’t take this the wrong way, Steve, but I think I might know why your dating profile isn’t getting a lot of interest. So you know how I really like Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah, almost as much as you like knives, that’s right. And did you ever notice how that fact isn’t the […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
High Hopes Haven’t you ever had a dream that fell short? Don’t you remember how that felt? Somewhere in the halls of Sonyplex, there was a man in a lovely office. This man thought he had a vision of what the future would be. This man could see row upon row of Sony Dash Personal […]
Wednesday, September 14, 2011 // Woot
Define “Free” My day job? Banker. So when I come home, I really want to enjoy my hobby. Let’s face it, a guy like me, I can’t get enough of driving the screws in. Fees, poor interest rates, gobbling up mortgages I may not actually have the paperwork for, that’s what I do ever day, […]
