Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
“Watch this.” Peter and Jake crouched just outside Olivia’s door with Jake’s five water bottles. “I’ve almost got her trained.” Olivia was lying on her bed with her back to the door. Jake leaned around the door, filled water bottle in hand, and shook it. Olivia heard the sloshing water and spun. “JAKE I SWEAR […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
What a great piece of cross-promotion! Louisville Slugger: THE name in baseball equipment! Genesis: THE name in ’70s English rock groups! Together at last! You can use this Louisville Slugger Genesis Bat Bag to hold bats or maybe giant, Phil-Collins-autographed drumsticks! Okay, maybe giant novelty drumsticks are a little far-fetched, but you could use it […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to practice your double-clutch hook-shot buzzer-beater dunk. Thanks to its board offset u-turn lift system, you can adjust the rim from 7 to 10 feet in small increments, so you can work your way up gradually. Now, the only problem is that the shot we’re talking about doesn’t exist. Don’t use this: for […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
You kids today. So friggin’ spoiled. In my day, we didn’t have fancy whiskey cubes. We’d just go out back and pick up some rocks out of the yard and throw them in the glass. Sometimes we’d brush off the dirt, sometimes we wouldn’t. A little grit between the teeth never hurt nobody. Now you […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
You kids today. So friggin’ spoiled. In my day, we didn’t have fancy whiskey cubes. We’d just go out back and pick up some rocks out of the yard and throw them in the glass. Sometimes we’d brush off the dirt, sometimes we wouldn’t. A little grit between the teeth never hurt nobody. Now you […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
How dare you, Sir. HOW DARE YOU. Just because my child is an exceptionally adept crayon and broad marker artist, that doesn’t mean that she TRACES. Tracing is to art what Toaster Strudels are to PopTarts. They’re a bad imitation and … well maybe that’s not the best analogy but either way, they totally suck […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
Hi, I’m a Woot writer, and I would like to tell you a little anecdote from my childhood. After that is done, I will try to sell you this tablet, OK? In 8th grade, my friend Matts (aside: “Matts” was his real name — he was of Swedish extraction which, I imagine, plays some role […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
The message of the sands of time thing is that no one really matters all that much. It’s like, doing awesome stuff is the same as walking in some sand in the grand scheme of things. Literally, if you’re a big celebrity sand walker or something. But it makes sense on other levels too! Like, […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
I once had a friend who was so tired of getting solicitation calls that he actually requested that his name be printed BACKWARDS in the Yellow Pages (Remember those?). They did it. And for the next few years he giggled every time the person on the other end asked to speak to “Mr. Yrdnal.” The […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
Growing cities have two choices: Grow out, or grow up. That is, new residents can live either further out in the suburbs or the core of the city (if high-density housing is available). Similarly, folks often build sprawling, low-rise home theaters in lieu of high-rise options with smaller footprints. That’s a mistake. Take the Sharp […]
