Monday, March 4, 2013 // Woot
There’s a moment in The Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader says JOIN ME to a frightened Luke Skywalker. JOIN ME AND WE CAN DEFEAT THE EMPEROR TOGETHER. And, really, if you think about it- that would have been a MUCH more efficient plan. Two dudes versus one old dude? No matter who wins, it’s […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because if you have to see the guy who long boards past your house naked every day, then so does EVERYONE ELSE! Don’t use this: as a football. There are better products for that, like footballs. In 99.9% of uses, this doesn’t: record you when you’re sleeping and then set a laugh track […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
We can’t speak for every lady, but in our experience, many ladies have a thing for guys who do work. We mean real work. Physical work. Labor. The kind of work that builds muscles and scars knuckles and stains t-shirts. So the squishy, sedentary office-drone single man of today has two choices: go another direction, […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
Salad fork, soup fork, banana fork, butter fork, they’re all there at fancy state dinners and guess what? Most of the time, they aren’t even used. That’s right! Not even used! Because seriously, who at a state dinner has time to learn the forks? That’s the kind of thing you only do when you’re rich […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
Kids. So sweet. So innocent. So … leaky. I mean, really. At what point does the biological material stop oozing out of every orifice in their adorable little bodies? The other day, my kid was playing on his ABC Foam Playmat, and he successfully interlocked two of puzzle pieces together for the first time. I […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
We won’t play “Sexyback”, we won’t send out a long-distance dedication, there’s nobody here who wants to talk about the Lakers’ tailspin, and you can’t win Bryan Adams tickets, no matter which caller you are. You’re always the only caller anyway. All we do is weather alerts. We’ll let you know if the NOAA determines […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
He’d read all of the history about Ancient Egypt and how it was rumored to be a cat paradise. He’d heard how not only did Ancient Egyptians like cats, but they apparently worshiped them, even mummifying them when they were deceased. He could live there and be treated like a king. It would be a […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
Of all the kinds of ranches in this world, including the style of home and also this wine, I have to say that ranch dressing is my favorite. Sorry Healdsburg Ranches Zinfandel, but while you too are delicious, ranch dressing is so much more versatile. While you have aromatic gobs (yes, really) of soft, rich […]
Sunday, March 3, 2013 // Woot
This refurbished 47″ LG features TruMotion technology. That means you can see sports, video games, and high-speed action without all that dumb motion blur. We don’t know about you guys, but as huge Warren Miller fans, we’re psyched about this! Now, we can go back and watch all of our favorite ski films with clearer […]
Saturday, March 2, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to break into your ex’s hotel room, in search of incriminating documents that could sway the divorce judge. Don’t use this: to watch “Magic Mike.” The screen is too small to really get the goods. If this item went to Taco Bell, it would order: a 7th-gen-layer burrito. In 99.9% of uses, this […]
