Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Use these: to make the dangerous journey out to the mailbox and back. Since the sole is designed not to freeze, you won’t slip as much. Don’t use these: to keep your SOUL from freezing. There’s nothing that can thaw your cold heart, RALPH! Some skeptics wonder: why these boots are called “Chair.” And actually, […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Yes, hello? I was at your supermarket earlier today and I’d like to complain. This Total Spa 24-Setting Combo Showerhead of lettuce you sold me is VERY inappropriate for use in my chicken Caesar salad, and I feel I should have been informed of that on the label! No, don’t you “not my department” me, […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Thomas always smiled at those little trains when he saw them. The faces made him happy, just happy to be a train enthusiast. Many was the day when he would dream of spending a few hours in the basement, pushing around Victor or Emily or Henry. But there was never time, was there? Always on […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to do a high-quality video tour of the apartment you’re putting up for rent. Just be sure you don’t show the giant rift into another dimension in the bathroom. Wait, were we not supposed to mention the giant rift into another dimension in the bathroom? Our bad! Don’t use this: to film yourself […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
You guys keep complaining that you want more realism from your games and we keep giving you browner and browner textures in first person shooters but apparently it’s not enough. Don’t you people realize that “realism” in games means “blowing up people in a desert?” What more do you want? Fine, fine. You know what? […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
Fearless is this Cabernet. It takes no prisoners. It’ll plunder your next dinner party without apologies, trampling canapes and smashing 100% French oak barrels over the heads of your guests, figuratively of course. Before you even have time to register it, this ruthless conqueror is belting out its battle cry, “CHERRRRYYYY!” and leaving you in […]
Wednesday, January 30, 2013 // Woot
The Onkyo HT-S8409 Home Theater System is well designed to give your home theater the aural kick it needs to cross the line from “decent” to “faboo!” However, please note: to get the FULL movie experience, you’re going to need a few things more. Here’s a quick list on how to do a 100% conversion. […]
Tuesday, January 29, 2013 // Woot
The steel mill closed, and the town of Hard Luck, Ohio all but closed with it. The folks had never known a life without the mill, and with the employer of 90% of the population gone things didn’t take long to deteriorate. Most notably, though, the spirit of the town degraded. People can’t go on […]
Tuesday, January 29, 2013 // Woot
Use these: to keep your pot from ever boiling! Don’t use these: to keep an eye on your prized security cameras. Because then you need to get cameras to watch those cameras, and other cameras to watch those cameras, and that’s a slippery slope. At the local watering hole, these would order: a cervezaillance camera. […]
Tuesday, January 29, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to… err… jeez, we don’t really feel comfortable making jokes about this. Don’t use this: to… immmm… oh boy… we don’t know… this just feels wrong. In 99.9% of uses, this doesn’t: do… jeez, sorry. We’re not feeling the jokes today, guys. If you owned this, people would say: “There’s a guy with […]
