Tuesday, April 30, 2013 // Woot
The day was promised. The day is here. Soon we’ll be winking through our glasses to access biometrics on strangers at the bus stop and wiggling our fingers to trigger telephone calls in our tiny cochlear implants. We shall become creatures of flesh and steel that communicate at the speed of light, nay, beyond light! […]
Saturday, April 27, 2013 // Woot
Let’s say you’re lucky enough to buy a skyscraper. And let’s say that, being the frugal type, you decide to save a few grand a year by not hiring a cleaning crew. That’s right, you plan to come in every night and vacuum every single floor. It’s a bold move, and one that could win […]
Friday, April 19, 2013 // Woot
I get it. You weren’t the most popular kid in school. You haven’t done much with your life since graduation, and you still live at home with your parents. You just want people to think you’re cool. But believe me, as much as it sounds like a good idea now, going back in time to […]
Wednesday, April 17, 2013 // Woot
Sometimes when I’m vacuuming with my DC39 Ball Canister Vacuum, I like to pretend that it’s not a vacuum with patented cyclone technology at all, but a real cyclone. And as I’m maneuvering the Dyson Ball technology around furniture, pivoting and changing direction with just a turn of the wrist, I like to pretend that […]
Thursday, April 4, 2013 // Woot
It’s one thing if you’re playing stickball in the road. Everybody knows and understands that a car is the TV time-out of road play, and there’s nothing that can be done. But when you’re playing football in the living room? C’mon, Mom and Dad. Show a little respect for the sport of kings and make […]
Monday, March 25, 2013 // Woot
When I first met Mopetta, it was love at first sight. Everyone said it was just a fling but I knew, man, I knew. We both loved to clean, and sure, I did it far more efficiently (thanks to my 220 airwatts of suction power) but I never felt like I was dumbing myself down […]
Monday, March 18, 2013 // Woot
Easter’s coming, and that means it’s time to prepare a basket of goodies for your kids. Well, before you head to the store and snag all the chocolate eggs and jelly beans, we’ve got a little basket-stuffer we think you should consider: A Dyson DC35 Handheld Vacuum! Put one of these vacuums in your child’s […]
Monday, March 18, 2013 // Woot
Easter’s coming, and that means it’s time to prepare a basket of goodies for your kids. Well, before you head to the store and snag all the chocolate eggs and jelly beans, we’ve got a little basket-stuffer we think you should consider: A Dyson DC35 Handheld Vacuum! Put one of these vacuums in your child’s […]
Thursday, March 14, 2013 // Woot
It wasn’t Derrick’s fault that fans were always attacking him. It was his natural musk. It was like fan pheromones. He couldn’t walk into a room with a fan without it shedding its cage and descending upon him, blades whirling. They didn’t mean to attack him. It was a display of affection, really. Still, it […]
Monday, March 11, 2013 // Woot
“Do you need a bag, Sir?” For the last time, NO! No I do NOT need a bag! Jeez, what is it with you bag pushers anyway? Everywhere I go now it’s the same thing. “You need a bag?” “How about a bag?” “What do you mean you don’t have a bag?” Well you know […]
