Thursday, April 25, 2013 // Woot
Listen, Haan Floor Steamer. I’m not saying you’re not great at steaming floors. I’m just saying that calling yourself “multi-purpose” is a little misleading. Sure, you have a removable handheld steamer with versatile cleaning attachments. And yeah, you use Smart Steam Technology to kill 99.9% of germs, bacteria and dust mites. But in the end, […]
Sunday, March 10, 2013 // Woot
The Neato XV-12 isn’t just a friendly little robot designed to clean your floors while you’re busy solving the new Super Mario game. The Neato XV-12 is a friendly little robot that lives its life like that life was an adventure! Because the Neato XV-12 runs the maze that is… your life. Just like you […]
Friday, February 15, 2013 // Woot
So, I had the weirdest dream last night. I do have a reoccurring dream about cyclones, actually. But last night’s was different. This time instead of hiding, I actually ran right up to the cyclone and grabbed it by its tail. It felt amazingly light in my hand, actually. Like it couldn’t have been more […]
Friday, January 4, 2013 // Woot
When I sat down in the comfy chair in my father’s study, one thing was clear to me: I didn’t understand that common man. Who were they? How did they live? What kind of lamps did they like? After all, I was rich enough to travel the world for a decade with no real means […]
Friday, November 30, 2012 // Woot
Ernie had finally met his match with Stan, and he was now groveling to his estranged wife with hopes of a reconciliation that would lead her to call him off. “Just like the fade-free 22.2V lithium ion battery in this Dyson DC35 handheld vac, my affections for you have never faded.” Marjorie looked skeptical, but […]
Friday, November 16, 2012 // Woot
Getting Ella to go to bed was usually quite a challenge. But all this week, she had scarfed down her dinner, excused herself from the table and announced that she was “tired” and was “turning in for the night.” Michelle and Tim thought it was strange that she wanted to go to bed before 7:00. […]
Friday, October 26, 2012 // Woot
Ernie stood on the stoop of the home he once shared with Marjorie, double bouquet of red roses in hand. He had a lot of explaining to do. And groveling. It was going to take a lot of groveling. But he was confident he could win her back. He dusted off the shoulders of his […]
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 // Woot
Hello? Oh, hi, Gentlewoman. Yeah, I’ve just been hanging out on the couch with some ice cream tonight. No, my Lord is in the field, so I’m just… right, exactly, nothing’s on TV this time of night, like, ever. And all I have to read is that paper in the closet so I’m glad you […]
Tuesday, October 23, 2012 // Woot
You want to know a secret? I actually started out in janitorial, if you can believe it! And what’s even crazier than that, I’ve only been here a week! How is that even possible? I’ll explain! You see, it was my second day, and I was just doing my job – using my map to […]
Sunday, October 14, 2012 // Woot
Rod looked up from his copy of 50 Shades of Grey. It was late and he had an early morning meeting with the realtor. He closed the book and turned the metal switch on his floor lamp, then fumbled his way through the dark to the stairs. But just as he hit the bottom step, […]
