Friday, January 4, 2013 // Woot
People think that science is something abstract and distant from themselves. Something done by super-intelligent specialists in pristine labs somewhere. But “science” is just a system in which repeatable evidence is the criterion by which a hypothesis is proven true or false. To boil it down even further, you could say that science is just […]
Friday, January 4, 2013 // Woot
“Whatcha got there?” This? It’s a bottle of Salexis. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had that problem.” Problem? What problem? I don’t have a problem. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. It’s just something that happens sometimes.” What are you even talking about? “Really. It’s totally not a big deal. A lot […]
Friday, January 4, 2013 // Woot
“Are you sure, Amy?” “Yes. They amuse me no more, and I feel my innards expanding. I condemn them to the darkest pits of the refrigerator.” “But Amy- m’lady, the cookies would surely lose their flavorful texture in such a cold clime. Mayhaps I should lock them away using your Pyrex 18-Piece Storage Set?” “You […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
Check out the AWESOME and RADICAL commercial for this Razor Spark DLX Scooter over in the Features tab while we provide live commentary: 00:04 Awwww man, nothing’s more Xtreme than market share data. 00:06 This is an age-old marketing trick to appeal to mothers: Juxtopose images of young children with seemingly out-of-control fire. 00:07 Is […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
Resolutions are easy to make. They’re harder to keep. Anyone can say, “I’m going to be more organized!” and genuinely mean it and all, but it takes some hard work to actually employ a strategy to accomplish that. You can tuck your receipts into your wallet or your purse or a shoebox or whatever all […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
Use this: for low-impact sculpting of the whole body. Sorry, that’s ambiguous — low-impact sculpting of YOUR whole body. Don’t use this: to literally sculpt your body. A chisel and some absorbent towels are what you need for that. The experts say: that this probably works because it involves 30 minutes of exercise, which is […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
The Saeco Incanto Deluxe frothed the milk smoothly. In the other room, the rattle of cups. “Thanks for coming over, man.” “Hey, no problem, dude. Sometimes you just need coffee with a bro, right?” The removable 68 oz water tank gurgled as the coffee brewed. “I hear that. Better than dealing with some crazy lady-friend […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
“Oh, powerful one!” said the tiny whale. “We beseech thee! Choose us as your favorite creature!” “NO-MIGHTY-ONE!” said the green robot. “THE-ELECTRONIC-WORLD-IS-THE-SUPERIOR.” “Don’t listen!” cried the giraffe. “Animals are the best!” “THERE-IS-NO-SUPPORTING-DATA!” interjected the colorful retro-style robot. “CURRENT-TRENDS-SUPPORT-AUTOMATONS-IN-FULL.” “No!” squeaked the bunny. “Our soft mod-acrylic is best!” “OUR-SOFT-MOD-ACRYLIC-IS-EQUAL.” clarified the brownish robot with no eyes. […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
[THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT FROM SWEET BABY RAY’S FAILED ‘THE JERKY BOYZ’ CASSETTE TAPE, RELEASED IN 2010. THE PROJECT FAILED WHEN IT BECAME CLEAR THAT BEEF JERKY WAS INCAPABLE OF SPEECH, AND THEREFORE INCAPABLE OF “PRANKING.”] PRANK #1 VICTIM 1 Hello? JERKY … VICTIM 1 Hello? JERKY … VICTIM 1 Anybody there? JERKY … […]
Thursday, January 3, 2013 // Woot
Everybody knows that baby rabbits are called “bunnies,” but did you know that they’re also called “kits” or “kittens?” This is because the English language was invented by an 11th-century drunk named Olgar. The story goes that after calling juvenile rabbits “bunnies” for no reason whatsoever, Olgar drank a flagon of mead and either changed […]
