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Just My Day Job

Okay, so here’s the idea: the whole TV series takes place in a computer, okay? And it’s about a superhero who’s an .exe file, and he’s doing all sorts of computery super hero stuff! Like, you know how computers get viruses? He’s there, taking them out, and restoring system functionality! Sounds fun, right? Well, here’s […]

August Ridge Nebbiolo & Sangiovese (4)

There was the January Hills Sauvignon Blanc in slot one, and the October Beach Pinot Noir sitting in slot ten. He had everything he needed for the perfect year. He’d celebrate his birthday with a March Desert Chardonnay, and he’d give his wife a gift of December River Merlot for their anniversary. But then it […]

VIZIO 70″ 1080p LED Smart TV with Wi-Fi

As you may have heard, we finally introduced a shopping cart to Woot this week. Like all of our updates, it has been met with unmitigated acclaim. However, we ran into a problem: Our shopping cart was too small to fit this GIANT 70″ Vizio TV. You see, we didn’t model our shopping cart on […]

Rollbox Collapsible Tool Box

  There was a time when a man wasn’t scared to show off his chest. Be it 14″ or 30″, a man’s chest was something to be proud of. Today, we’re bringing those days back. Today, we’re showing off OUR chest. This tool chest is perfect for everyone, from a motorcycle fanatic who spends weekends […]

VIZIO 42″ 1080p LED HDTV with Apps

This product’s writeup comes from James Dipalo, a man who’s been living in a cave for the past 20 years, away from all civilization. Wow, look at this thing. Picture frames sure have gotten fancy! Wait, that’s not a picture frame? It’s a television? Was it run over by a steam roller or something? It’s […]

Winix 50-pint Dehumidifier with Pump

Humidity is like love. If you don’t get a machine to help you remove it, you’ll be uncomfortable. Wait, hold up, that makes no sense. Humidity is nothing like love. Humidity isn’t a many-splendored thing, humidity isn’t a battlefield, humidity isn’t patient and kind and humidity isn’t like oxygen. Humidity hides in oxygen and then […]

HP ENVY Quad-Core i7 Desktop w/ 12GB RAM

Use this: for serious computing tasks, like opening this in 500 browser tabs. Don’t use this: to make sense of the complex emotional dynamics at play in this scene. No amount of computing power can help you there, friend. In 99.9% of uses, this doesn’t: judge your Google search syntax. (e.g. “Dog raisin poisonous?”) If […]

TaylorMade Burner 2.0 Graphite Iron Set

Use these: to win at golf. Or, at least, do slightly better than your friends. Don’t use these: to nefarious ends. With great club power comes great club responsibility. In 99.9% of cases, these don’t: blame you when you shank a shot. At a karaoke bar, this product sings: In da club (there’s a vibration-management […]

TaylorMade Burner 2.0 Graphite Iron Set

Use these: to win at golf. Or, at least, do slightly better than your friends. Don’t use these: to nefarious ends. With great club power comes great club responsibility. In 99.9% of cases, these don’t: blame you when you shank a shot. At a karaoke bar, this product sings: In da club (there’s a vibration-management […]

Dyson 10″ Bladeless Fan

I get it. You weren’t the most popular kid in school. You haven’t done much with your life since graduation, and you still live at home with your parents. You just want people to think you’re cool. But believe me, as much as it sounds like a good idea now, going back in time to […]