Monday, September 10, 2012 // Woot
Okay, guys – I got some bad news. We’re going to have to scrap the whole ad campaign that we put together for the 2007 Materra Napa Valley Merlot. Turns out it’s pronounced “Mer-low.” That means our slogan – “You’re going to like this wine a mer-lot” – is out the window. So, it’s back […]
Monday, September 10, 2012 // Woot
Honey, you’re finally home! Oh, it’s so good to see you again! How was Omaha? Yeah, well, it is Omaha, so that’s to be expected. And your mother, how’s she? Awesome. Good to hear. Aw, look! I guess Neato missed you, too! Isn’t he just the cutest little robot vacuum in the whole… What do you […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
“There’s a problem,” said the boss. “It turns out there’s not a big enough market for a device that phonically spells out how you say Uma Thurman’s first name.” The room gasped. “I know, I know,” said the boss. “This has taken me by surprise too. But, c’mon! We can’t dwell on it now. We […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
What the heck, Craig? Jeez, turn that thing off? I’m trying to sleep! “And I’m trying to help you sleep easier.” How is standing over me and shining a 290 lumen flashlight in my face helping me sleep easier? “I’m not shining it at your face, Tom. I’m shining it at your neck. Where you’re […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
Nameless Puppy snuffled slightly, adjusted himself in Man Person’s lap so that he might get better belly petties, then relaxed himself. ‘Rub me’, he thought. ‘I require the rubbin’s.’ But Man Person did not rub as he was mentally commanded. Instead, he seemed to be far too interested in Weird Lady to care. “What,” he heard […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
In her dream, Olivia was sitting at her desk, doing her homework. “A Plus, Olivia!” the teacher said. “But you’re not done yet!” And Olivia would look down, and all the answers would melt away, and the questions would change. No matter how hard she worked, it didn’t matter. Nothing ever stayed the same. At […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
Imagine this. Today’s Ten Cent Sundae Sunday. You’re on the way to the local Uncle Butterfat’s Rock-A-Fudgey Explosion. Two blocks away from your favorite shortcut across the covered bridge… oh no! The bridge caught fire when Mrs. McGornigle’s cow kicked over her kitchy gas lantern! Well, no bother, you can just take a different path… […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
“Hi, I’m Angie! Come on in, you guys!” “Hi, Angie. I’m Dana and this is Ethan, my fiance.” “We’re really excited about getting to see the place.” “Great! Let’s get right to it!” “What’s that smell?” “Don’t worry about that. We’ll have cleaners in here before you guys move in. So this is it: 710 […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
Remember when you were a kid (or maybe when your parents were kids) and you picked up a copy of Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five… and noticed there were seven guys on the cover? “Who’s that other guy?” you (or your parents) might have said. That’s the feeling you might get staring at these […]
Sunday, September 9, 2012 // Woot
Hey Heather, got a minute? I wanted to show you pictures from my recent vacation. Oh, I know you’re in a rush, but c’mon! It’ll just take a minute. I got em right here on my computer. Here’s the highway going into Topeka. Here’s the capitol building. Here’s the hotel I stayed at. Here’s a […]
