Carolina Cottage Mission Rocker

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Nameless Puppy snuffled slightly, adjusted himself in Man Person’s lap so that he might get better belly petties, then relaxed himself. ‘Rub me’, he thought. ‘I require the rubbin’s.’

But Man Person did not rub as he was mentally commanded. Instead, he seemed to be far too interested in Weird Lady to care. “What,” he heard Man Person ask her as he stopped rocking the Misson Rocker, “the hell are you talking about?”

Nameless Puppy picked his head up, looked at his exposed stomach, and was confused. Why wasn’t Man Person making with the petties? Could he not see that Puppy was primed and ready for them? Was this not why Man Person sat in the comfortable leatherette upholstered seat? He looked over at Weird Lady standing over near his food dish. ‘Help me out here, huh?’

She did not. Instead, she stretched a weak smile across her face and said, “It’s, you know, just a question. Just something I’ve been thinking about.”

“You’ve just been randomly thinking about whether or not a woman can get pregnant if she sleeps with a robot?” said Man Person, STILL not running his gentle hand against Nameless Puppy’s fur.

“Cyborg,” Weird Lady said. “Or Android. Whichever one looks like a human. Like the Terminator, or Michael Fassbender in the stupid movie you dragged me to.”

Nameless Puppy sighed. If Man Person wasn’t going to pet him, he thought, maybe Weird Lady would feed him. He righted himself and jumped down, leaving Man Person to sit against the high back of the rocker and continue to be useless. “Where did that question ever come from?” Man person said without a single “good boy” or “that’s a good puppy” thrown in.

“GEEZ, BRANT, IT’S JUST A QUESTION,” Weird Lady shreiked, sending Nameless Puppy straight back to the rocker to hide under its assemble Asian hardwoods. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PARANOID ABOUT A STUPID…”

“Okay, okay,” Man Person said, leaning over to pick Nameless Puppy up into his lap again. “No, a woman can’t pregnant if she sleeps with a robot or cyborg or whatever unless it’s some kind of insemination robot. As far as I know, anyway.” 

“That’s all I wanted to know. THANK YOU,” barked Weird Lady before stomping away into the bedroom.

Man Person looked down at Nameless Puppy. “Sorry about that, buddy. Now where were we?” He reached down and started to stritch Nameless Puppy behind the ears. Oh. Oh yeah. That felt nice.

In the Box:

• (1) Carolina Chair 4727-NC Mission Style Rocking Chair

Woot