Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
“What’s on this, Dad?” Tim picked up the homemade DVD with “Dad’s Movies” written on it in Sharpie. And smiled “Go find your sisters, Jake. We’re gonna take a look at some history.” A few years ago, Tim had taken all his father’s old home movies to some guy, and had copies made. All the […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
“I can’t believe this! This isn’t happening! This can’t happen!” “It’s happening, okay? Snap out of it!” “But who? Why?” “It doesn’t matter. Someone pushed the button. The bombs have dropped. The world above is going to be a smoldering, nuclear ruin for decades. I’m just glad I invested in this Fallout shelter.” “I’m sorry […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
Eastern European Swallows can carry ten times their weight, but rarely do, because they suffer from motivation issues. Canadian Swallows are frightened by the flapping of their own wings. This means, they have a difficult time taking off, but when they do, they fly extremely fast, trying to out-run the wings they see flapping in […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
Nobody said wine was supposed to be cheap, but man, all the hidden costs can really get annoying! I mean, first you need to buy the wine, then you need to buy the maple syrup to add to it; then there’s all the energy it costs: the mixing in the maple syrup, the waiting overnight, […]
Monday, August 27, 2012 // Woot
Hey, new guy! How ya doin’? Name’s Maurice. The Big Cheese says I’m supposed to show you the ropes ’round here at the Clockworks today, so I’ll be giving you a few pointers. HA! Get it? “Pointers?” ‘Cause you’re a… You know what, it’s okay. You’re probably just too nervous for humor. By the looks […]
Sunday, August 26, 2012 // Woot
That’s where they get you, usually. It’s all, “Here! Take this Samsung laptop with the 15.6″ screen! It’s got an AMD A6-3430MX quad-core processor, 6GB DDR3, and a 500GB SATA hard drive. And it’s a great price too!” Sounds good, so you get it, take it out of the box, and NO KEYS! That’s when […]
Sunday, August 26, 2012 // Woot
Now, we know what you’re thinking: you’ve got a hot date on the river, and you were really hoping to have a one person tube so that you could be like, “Oops! Guess we gotta share! Here, sit on my lap!” But c’mon. That’s not comfortable, nor is it very safe. No, you need […]
Sunday, August 26, 2012 // Woot
Sylvia lit a cigarette as she walked away from the now burning trash bin and toward the street. ‘Well that was five minutes of my life I’ll never get back,’ she thought. When asked about the incident later, she simply pulled down a bottle of red wine from her rack and explained, “Well, Craigy-Bear, I […]
Sunday, August 26, 2012 // Woot
Tim hung up just as Michelle’s recorded voice was about to tell him she was unavailable to take his call and invite him to leave a message, for the third time. Crud, he thought, staring down at the two activity bundles before him. Looks like I’m going in blind on this one. He put his phone back […]
Sunday, August 26, 2012 // Woot
Take today, for example. Today’s August 26th, right? Well, we can’t be bothered to find a calendar, so let’s just go with that date regardless. You might think it’s a plain, boring, non-cupcake worthy day… but you’d be wrong, O hater of history. Check this out: in 1346 The Battle of Crecy proved the longbow […]
