Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
Ever since she discovered that people were watching her, Sylvia was too paranoid to go out in public. So she spent most of her time holed up in the house watching Court TV and infomercials. She didn’t know if she was losing it, or if she was just extremely bored, because she found this one […]
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
Sharon had raised enough children to know that they can be little stinkers. They fake crying when they don’t get their way. They lie right to your face even if you catch them in the act. And they pit parents against each other by asking one if the other says no. And speaking of “no,” […]
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
Hi Mom, Sorry I missed your calls this week, I actually don’t have a phone anymore so that’s probably going to keep happening. Dad emailed and said you called about four times over the weekend but couldn’t catch me. Again, mom: I don’t have a phone. I know you call my iPod Touch a “phone” […]
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
I don’t like all this attitude, mister. You might be a teenager but you still live under my roof and I raised a better radish than this! You think you can disrespect your elders and listen to your devil music and pick on that poor carrot boy down the street with the glasses and not […]
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
We decided to pick three lots, make them into two packs, and put them in a case of six total bottles. Why? Because we wanted to learn what happened when Lots stopped trying to be polite… and started being real. LOT 224: Me and Gertie, they told us we had to be preps. Just because […]
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 // Woot
For example, see that purple and yellow guy? That’s the biggest troll in the ocean. He comes in here and chases all the little fish around into a frenzy, and then hides in the coral and watches them fight. Once you know his tactics, it’s not hard to see him in action. Oh, but of […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
Everyone’s got their thing in school. So you haven’t found yours, yet. Big deal! Not everyone is a jock, or a smart kid, or a burnout, or a cheerleader, or a goofball, or a…geez, what’s even left? Okay, never mind. The point is, you’ve still got a chance! Just pick yourself up a refurbished JVC […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
So today we have a Brine/Estero Youth Athletic Shorts 5-Pack. That’s five pairs of shorts. There won’t be any joke about them. There will be no witty story involving, for example, a man embarrassed to find he accidentally ordered youth-sized shorts and is forced to wear them. We will not spin a yarn about someone […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
“There you go, Dani,” Lisa said, placing a drink in front of her before sitting across from her at the coffee shop table. “One mocha latte with cinnamon, as requested.” “Thanks, but are you sure you don’t want to me to give you some money? I mean, I could’ve just as easily made us some […]
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 // Woot
Olivia looked twice at her father as she got out of the car. She answered his goodbye with “And you have a good day at work, okay?” Tim knew she’d noticed his droopy face in the mornings, and made a mental note to leave the trouble at the office from now on. As he pulled […]
