Thursday, August 9, 2012 // Woot
I got my dad this JVC Everio HM50 HD Camcorder for Father’s Day this year, and ever since he has absolutely revolutionized the world of cutting-edge experimental videography. His shaky, over-zoomed shots of backyard fauna, accidental recordings of bare rooms, and constant heavy-breathing audio overlays have resonated deeply in the online art-house video community. The […]
Thursday, August 9, 2012 // Woot
The missed call of Cthulhu. The call back to Cthulhu. The voicemail of Cthulhu. The text to Cthulhu apologizing for missing his call. The text back from Cthulhu saying, “No worries! We cool!” The call back to Cthulhu immediately upon receiving his text, but he doesn’t answer, and you’re like “Ugh! I know you’re there!” […]
Thursday, August 9, 2012 // Woot
Commander… you’ve gone mad! “Shut up, Jamison, I’m in charge of this station now. And I say if you don’t fire the high-intensity laser, I’ll fire my blaster on YOU!” I… I have no choice. After all, you’ve sent all the other crew members into space. “Not all of them, Jamison!“ “Bottle of Wine! But […]
Thursday, August 9, 2012 // Woot
My job? I’m a stunt double. For John Lithgow. Now, you wouldn’t think of John – or Johnny Boy, as he prefers to be called – as the kind of guy who would need a stunt double. Nor would you look at me and think, “Hey, there’s a regular John Lithgow look-alike!” But it’s true […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
“Hey man, what’s wrong? You’ve seemed so down in the dumps lately.” “Yeah, it’s just…well, it’s complicated. I’m having severe existential despair.” “Oh. Bummer. Why?” “It’s this Sony Bloggie Touch HD Camcorder.” “Really? I can’t imagine it’s that bad.” “No, it’s great. It’s got a touchscreen interface, shoots in 1920×1080 full HD, and has a […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
Here we go, folks. Bag o’ beads. Heat it up and throw it on your aches and pains. Or cool it down and throw it on your…aches and pains. Whatever. It’s your bag of beads. Do whatever you want with it. Or get yourself a TheraPearl Hot or Cold Contour Therapy 2-Pack and you can […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
Sylvia untied the sarong from around her waist and stretched out on the beach chair under the umbrella. This trip was exactly what she needed to clear her mind and recharge her [BEEP] batteries, so to speak. She gazed out on the ocean and watched the waves roll in. If she closed her eyes, the […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
It’s only right. After all, he was the man of the house whenever his father was away, and every king needs a castle. So when he found out Ella was getting a Crayola play tent with a mesh ceiling and clear panels you can draw on with dry-erase markers, Jake demanded something just as cool. […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
Friends and Coworkers, For many years, you guys have asked, “How was the ride in, Greg?” Well, I have an exciting announcement: starting today, you can share the FULL EXPERIENCE of my morning commute with me! Now, don’t worry; I’m not offering rides on the back of my moped! Unless, of course, you’re interested in […]
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 // Woot
I’m sorry, I’ll buy into a lot of things, but this is beyond me. Where would a Piranha Plant even run into a Pug? I’ve never seen a Pug in any of the games before. Why now? How’d it get there? What’s it doing there? Pugs aren’t especially physically talented; how did it not just […]
