Friday, August 3, 2012 // Woot
I see you over there with your adorable little fishy face, blowing kisses in my general direction. But I’m bitter and jaded after my most recent break up, so I’m not biting. Save your little pouty lips for some other sucker. I’m just going to sit here, by myself, at the end of this bar […]
Friday, August 3, 2012 // Woot
Soooo about me. I’m Ashley. I’m 17. I want a tablet. Ummmmm, I’d really like this Sony 32GB 9.4″ Tablet S with a cradle. I’m not really sure why, it’s just the one I decided looks cool. I know it’s not an iPad but everyone has iPads nowadays and I’m kinda over it to be […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
It’s interesting to imagine the types of customers who buy a particular product we’re selling. It’s especially interesting when the people organizing sales don’t do their jobs and dump something in my lap four days after it was supposed to be done and say, “HEY THIS IS DUE TOMORROW JUST WRITE SOME WERDS DOWN, SHOULDN’T […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
This flashlight is top-tier. It’s got a super-bright 150 lumen CREE LED diode that will last (this is the technical term) FOREVER. But as a total hypochondriac germophobe, what really appealed to me was its antibacterial tail cap switch. I mean, who hasn’t been totally skeeved out by a filthy tail cap switch? Don’t let […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
Sylvia opened the blinds to let in the sunlight. She caught her reflection in the glass of the balcony doors, and instinctively sucked in her tummy. She decided right then to forego the biscuits and gravy she had planned for breakfast, and instead opted for an egg white omelet with fresh veggies. As she headed […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
“Alright Jake, hop on up.” “Awww. Do I HAVE to, Granny Sharon? I’m too old to ride in that thing!” Michelle and Tim were at a parent-teacher conference for Ella, so Sharon was picking Jake up after school, and he was none too pleased about having to still ride in his First Years Compass Booster […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
By the time he was a teenager he had already left a trail of broken hearts. He was not interested in women, and rebuffed all their attempts. One day Narcissus was at a party in Thespia and saw his own image in a Samsung 16.1 MP DualView Camera. The camera’s 1.5″ front-facing display meant Narcissus could […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
The safe, where the money was taken from, it’s at the end of a narrow hallway, not wide enough for two people to stand side-by-side, barely wide enough for one, in fact. So a single crook must’ve completed all of the security override procedures by himself. But that’s impossible! You see, first you must enter […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
I believe in the right of the gourmand to eat as they please. I believe the government has no right to tell me if I can eat Kalamata, Nafplion, Amfissa or whatever. I believe if I want to eat a strip of roasted pepper and/or lemon zest, I can! That’s right, folks. I’m an Olive-bertarian. […]
Thursday, August 2, 2012 // Woot
Honey, you know how you asked me to go to the store and pick up one of those bladeless Dyson fans? Well, here’s what I got. “Um, this isn’t a fan, Chris… it’s a Dyson DC24 vacuum. That’s pretty much the opposite of the fan.” I know! Exactly! It’s opposite day! “What? Chris, it’s too […]
