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Pyle 4GB Waterproof MP3 Player

When all my dime dancin’ is through Drowning to the title track of Aja would be the worst way to go. Everybody talks about the worst way to die. For some, it would be suffocating. For others, it would be a plane crash. But they’re all wrong. The worst possible way to die is to […]

Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer – $99.99

At Least As Good As A Michael Bay Script The 11th President of the United States? Yeah, he was all about the low end. People think the subwoofer got popular in the ‘90s, with the rise of huge booming bass. But would you be surprised to learn the Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer has roots in […]

Energizer Aluminum LED Flashlight – $9.99

Bright Lights, Big Theater We’d like to apologize to all who attended the matinee on Sunday. First off, we would like to clarify that the man who walked into several theaters on Sunday between 1 and 3pm and harassed several viewers was not an employee of UMI 18 Cinemas. He was simply a prankster with […]

Pyle 100W Mount Amp w/ Speakers – $34.99

Sorry, kid. You’re too young for a motorcyle. But you CAN have the loudest soapbox derby car in the whole dang neighborhood. DISQUALIFIED? That’s preposterous! We put a lot of work into that car, lady! This was kid’s big moment and you’re disqualifying us for what? Thinking outside the soapbox? Trying to add a little […]

Nikon 12.2MP Digital Camera – $89.99

Face it, this is a good camera This Nikon 12.2MP Digital Camera will pick up all sorts of details. Even the ones you don’t want picked up. Hi All, I’m emailing because, quite frankly, I’m very disappointed with some of the messages I’ve seen going around the office. First of all, I only decided to […]

Eton Solar-Powered Sound System – $59.99

I survived! I can’t believe I’m alive! Comes in pretty handy everywhere… except maybe a desert island. Wh- Where am I? The plane…I remember the crash. Waves. Water. Am I alive? I have to be alive; death wouldn’t hurt this badly. Am I the only one who made it? Oh, god. I’m stranded on this […]

Fuji Heavy-Duty AA Batteries – 60 Pk – $5.99

What a difference an “A” can make Sixty batteries? Yeah, take THAT, you stupid fire alarm. Ohhhh, I’m onto you, Mr. Fire Alarm in my hallway. You act like you’re only keeping me safe from fires, but then, the very SECOND I’ve got a big meeting or a test or a plane I’ve got to […]

Callaway Golf Humidor Set – $29.99

And They All Laughed As We Crawled Away Okay, so, nobody make the mistake we did and try to fight a bull with this. Look, the Callaway Golf Humidor Set isn’t part of the traditional chain of bullfighting. We know that now. It’s the matador warming things up, then the picador, then the banderilleros, then […]

Lenovo Essential 15” Laptop – $309.99

Combat Ready The ONLY laptop I’ll ever use, as a former tank commander. It wasn’t easy to go from the 117th Armored Brigade to the sales team at Groesbeck Metals. I’m not talking about “excitement” or “adrenaline” – I’m perfectly happy without worrying about getting blown up by an IED. No, my problem was, I […]

America Stories of War – 36 DVDs – $19.99

The Dirty Three Dozen They also serve who only read their lines. Atten-HUT! Listen up, you squishy globs of mule diarrhea! You’ve been asked here today to perform your sacred duty for your country, and I’d sooner give Ho Chi Minh a lap dance than let you pimple-butted pinworms fumble this mission on my watch! […]