Tuesday, April 3, 2012 // Woot
Just Incase Well hello, fussy toddler in the seat next to me! Lovely day for air travel, don’t you think? Wow! That’s quite a pair of lungs on your kid there, lady! Sounds like someone’s got a bright future as a Metal singer, isn’t that right, little buddy? Yes, it is. YES, IT IS. Oops. […]
Monday, April 2, 2012 // Woot
Evading The Question I’m sorry, sir, I’m just a document scanner. I can’t advise you on your theory that the IRS is unconstitutional. I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not an attorney, an accountant, a professional tax preparer, or a “sovereign citizen magistrate”, whatever that is. I’m a NeatDesk Desktop Scanner. If you want […]
Sunday, April 1, 2012 // Woot
Taking of you to Haier places! The Woot writers may be on strike but we’ve got a secret weapon: the Sales Copy Automation Bot! Take it away, S.C.A.B… Of hot in summer? Well get to cool yourself with amazing offer of PRODUCTNAME[Haier Portable Air Conditioner]! Dislike the traditionally, this air co?nditioner is ideal for cooling […]
Saturday, March 31, 2012 // Woot
Adventures In Audio You guys, turn off your smartphones and portable media players for a second. This is totally going to blow your minds. So you know how we were messing with my Denon 5.1 Channel A/V Receiver the other day and trying to decide which high-definition device we were going to enjoy? Okay, sure, […]
Friday, March 30, 2012 // Woot
Day 1702. Journal Update: Running out of food. Morale low. Dell Notebook still pretty awesome. It’s been almost five years since the event. It was incredible how quickly things fell apart. Media outlets went black within a few days, there were reports of- Oh, why am I typing this again? I’ve typed it hundreds of […]
Thursday, March 29, 2012 // Woot
Use Responsibly This Dyson will sure help you clean. AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING IT WILL DO, YOU UNDERSTAND? Before using your Dyson DC33 Multi Floor Vacuum, please read and sign the Responsible User Statement. I [owner’s name] promise to use this Dyson DC33 Multi Floor Vacuum for the purpose of cleaning and cleaning only. […]
Wednesday, March 28, 2012 // Woot
You Gotta Believe Hey ref! Ref! Hope you got a TomTom XXL 550T 5” Touchscreen GPS cause apparently you can’t find a clue without a guide! Yeah, you hear me! I know you hear me! I’m talkin’ to you, ref! That kid got fouled and you know it! Fouled! It doesn’t take a 5” touchscreen […]
Tuesday, March 27, 2012 // Woot
Be Prepared Don’t think of it as being overprotective. Think of it as an investment in your daughter’s future. Polite society sure does make things tough on a guy just trying to do right by his baby girl. Breaking into her Facebook account to see if any boys are hitting on her is looked down […]
Monday, March 26, 2012 // Woot
A Super-Stiff, Carpally Lot Late one night, humble masseur Matt Sage is working on his laptop when a bolt of lightning strikes – COSMIC lightning… What…? What happened…? Feel… so different… so strange… charged, somehow… with a weird energy… must look in… mirror… Egads! I’ve become somehow fused with the electronic circuitry of my computer! […]
Sunday, March 25, 2012 // Woot
Retraction. It’s come to our attention that a recent episode on the working conditions in Apple factories may not have been accurate. It’s These United States Existences, I’m Ari Slate, and I’m coming to you today to say something that I’ve never had to say before on our program. We recently found out that a […]
