Prospera Electronic Pulse Massager – $19.99

Monday, March 26, 2012

A Super-Stiff, Carpally Lot

Late one night, humble masseur Matt Sage is working on his laptop when a bolt of lightning strikes – COSMIC lightning…

What…? What happened…? Feel… so different… so strange… charged, somehow… with a weird energy… must look in… mirror…

Egads! I’ve become somehow fused with the electronic circuitry of my computer! My limbs have become electrodes! My body is now an 8”-long device covered in buttons! And my face! My beautiful face has become an LCD showing details of massage style, intensity, and duration!

I’m a freak – a monster! I can never show myself in society again! I must flee from the horrified eyes of “normal” humanity – hide my deformity from the very people I once strived to serve!

But… but wait…

Perhaps I can still serve them! Perhaps I can combine this strange new power with my massage skills! Yes! I shall be an unstoppable electronic crusader against the forces of stress and anxiety! I shall be the electro-powered champion of all those suffering strain, trauma, pain, and tension!

Beware, stiff necks! Take notice, aching backs! Today marks the death of Matt Sage… and the birth of the Prospera Pulse Massager!

Warranty: 90 Day Prospera

Condition: New

Features:

• The Prospera Electronic Pulse Massager is a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation unit (TENS)
  
• TENS units can help back and neck pain caused by trauma or continual strain
• TENS therapy can help break this pain cycle by loosening the muscles and releasing any waste products – aiding the normal healing process
• Compact, portable, micro-computer-controlled device
• In addition to your back and neck, it can be used on your shoulders, legs, arms, and feet
• It may help to relieve pain and numbness caused by a stiff neck, carpal-tunnel syndrome and other conditions causing chronic pain
• 5 Automatic Modes (stimulation programs) and 1 Repeat Mode for a total of 6 modes
• 3 different selectable massage techniques
• Adjustable speed and intensity

Additional Photos:

• Prospera Electronic Pulse Massager
• Closeup detail of Function Buttons
• Package Contents

Specifications:

• 5 Auto Modes (stimulation programs) and 1 Repeat Mode
• 3 selectable massages
• Adjustable speed and intensity
• High frequency stimulation to relieve pain quickly
• LCD shows massage style, intensity and time remaining
• Ergonomically designed for optimum comfort
• Power:DC6V (4) AAA batteries (included)
• Frequency: 60 Hz
• Dimensions 8” x 2” x 1”
• (4) Electrode Pads, (2) Wires
• Weight 0.5lbs (approx.)
• FDA registered
• Product Manual: CLICK HERE!

Important:

Please consult a physician prior to purchase or use if one of the following exists:
Severe heart disease, abnormal blood pressure, implanted monitoring device, abnormal skin conditions, lack of sensation in the limbs, tumors, pregnant, ill with high fever, infections, disease, or under a doctor’s care.

In the box:

• (1) Prospera PL009 Electronic Pulse Massager
• (4) AAA Batteries
• (4) Electrode Pads
• (2) Wires

Woot! – One Day, One Deal