Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Don’t Forget To Brush Your Teeth Look out, it’s the Snore Vikings! Good thing we’ve got the Side Sleeper Pro Pillow and Pillow Case at the ready! Somewhere outside Sleepopolis “Ho, Spinebräker! Take this flagon of fermented goat’s milk and join me in my siege of Sleepopolis!” slurrp “Well met, Jon Axënface! Today we sail […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Beware of User Hey, I’m a burglar, not some kinda robot warrior. I ain’t breakin’ into no house guarded by TRONs. Whaddya mean, not real? I can see the guy right there through the window. That TRON guy, right there. See him, all in black space leather, ready to sling an astro Frisbee at whoever […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Catch A Weave Once the world sees this video, they’ll know how hard I worked for that degree in Underwater Basket-Weaving. I, for one, am sick and tired of people dismissing my major – nay, my calling – as some kind of joke. They’ll be laughing out the other side of their rattan plaits when […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
So how humid could I get this place? I’m trying to figure out how many of these things I’m going to need. So I’m going for a certain aesthetic, and I think I need a humidifier. “Well, look no further than the refurbished pureguardian 120-Hour Ultrasonic Humidifier! It uses Silver Clean technology to fight mold […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
Sneak Me Into The Ballgame What’s the matter, can’t you read the signature on this consent form? It says right there, “Major League Baseball.” Forged? Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. Looks like it’s my word against yours. So here’s what we can do: we can take the time and expense of sending this […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
You Did The Best You Could This Lenovo Intel Dual-Core Laptop with 15.6” LED Display? It’s dedicated to all those who never got their shot. Andy Rendich. CEO of Qwikster for about a week. You didn’t ask for the media frenzy. You just woke up and came into the office one morning to find out […]
Thursday, October 13, 2011 // Woot
The Last Dance It’s that time. The floor is clearing. The bar is closed. The DJ’s packing up his crates. Time to pick out something acceptable to go home with. You know what they say: “The later it gets, the better a Woot-Off looks.” You missed your chance with all those HD camcorders and HP […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Tiny Motorcycle Not Included We’d like to make the jokes but… well, we’d get sued, most likely. Listen, you know and we know what you think of when you hear the word purple. In fact, it’s the very thing everyone thinks about when they hear the word purple, ever since, ooo, June 25th, 1984? Certainly […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
You’re invited! The days are getting shorter and the nights are getting colder, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have ONE MORE BARBEQUE! So this Saturday* at 3, c’mon over to my place** for some old-fashioned*** grill**** festivities*****! *Rain or shine, because we’ll be inside no matter what. The doctor said that, if I’m in […]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 // Woot
Mister, You’ve Got Some Balls Ow! Hey! Uh, honey, why are you throwing- oh. Oh, I get it. You found out the truth about that “golfing trip” I took last weekend. OK, OK, OK, listen, listen, so you found the OW! balls and you know I didn’t OW! play golf. So, funniest thing, we were […]
