Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE WOOT FAMILY ABOUT THE RECENT UNAUTHORIZED PHOTOS OF THE ASUS 15.6″ DUAL-CORE LAPTOP: We are greatly distressed by the news that an Italian magazine is considering publishing a set of photos taken while the Asus 15.6″ i5 Dual-Core Laptop was on a private family vacation. This is an unconscionable invasion of […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
Use these: because you can’t get a grip if your fingers are frozen. This product grants its owner: the power of creepy hot handshakes. This just posted to Facebook: several thousand cellphone mirror pics of itself. The album is called, “New Haircut!” The only way to make this better would be: if when you put […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
There are a lot of strange things that people do in locker rooms that I’m gleefully willing to overlook. I’m talking to you, nude guy who props his leg up on the counter while shaving HIS FACE. WHAT? Yeah. That. I’ll even kindly avert my eyes for you, naked headstand sauna guy. I don’t understand […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
“Say cheese! Cheese! Aw, man, I’m no good at taking portrait photos of people. They never look at the camera!” What’s wrong, Carl? Trouble at the job? “I’ll say. It’s this freakin’ camera. I just want to freakin’ grab it and THROW IT AT THE FREAKIN’ WALL AND-“ Whoa! Ha ha! Carl, lay off the […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
There’s more to Hexbugs than just their love of bug-to-bug combat. Like any creature, they have their own distinctive traits and behaviors. For example: Hexbugs shed their skin daily. Sometimes, if they don’t like how they look post-shedding, they’ll put the recently shed skin back on. And sometimes, if they can’t tell which looks better, […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
The social construction of “mathematics” has been a potent weapon in the hands of warm-blooded imperialism in its drive to exterminate indigenous saurians. The linear, essentially oppressive nature of structures like “division” and “integers” denies the experiences of hundreds of millions of generations, erasing their perspectives from the historical record more completely than any meteorite […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
I want to tell you all a story, ’bout two Russian River Valley wines The first is from 2010 the other one comes from ’09 They come from Tara Bella, that’s the Estate with the winery And I should probably tell you here that they’re both Russian River Cabernet The twenty ten is deep and […]
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 // Woot
But hey, that’s not a big deal for me. I just want to be able to check in with /r/Hawkwind while I’m sitting where wizard sages sat, if you get my meaning. Okay, fine, yes, I’m talking about the “little progheads room.” What? That’s still not specific enough for you? Well, I’ll just spell it […]
Tuesday, February 12, 2013 // Woot
Use this: because you don’t get the full texture of the podcast’s many awkward silences through plain old earbuds. Don’t use this: to park your boat at. What you’re thinking of is a “dock.” This here is a “dock.” See, totally different. If this is buried in a field, what grows in its place is: […]
Tuesday, February 12, 2013 // Woot
Use this: to compete with friends in a Heart Rate Race (also known as “The Heart of War”). Don’t use this: in your water to make some sort of energy drink that giraffes drink in stupid commercials. That’s a different MIO. If this were a sports broadcaster, it would say: “MIO my! What a play!” […]
