Thursday, September 20, 2012 // Woot
Meriwether Lewis March 23, 1806 The Pacific Ocean Dear, sweet journal, Two horses and one man died this week. We are precious short on foodstuffs and blankets. Tried to trade with locals but were rebuffed. Capt. Clark remains in a foul temper. Looking back, now, I have but one regret: That I chose a knockoff […]
Saturday, September 15, 2012 // Woot
Rod gasped when he opened his door. “What the? But I thought you…” He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “No, it’s you, isn’t it, Millicent? I figured you’d probably be showing up.” “Nice to see you again, Roderick,” Sylvia’s twin said with a grin. “Now why don’t you put down that air freshener […]
Thursday, September 13, 2012 // Woot
Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman who wanted a baby. So they did what all couples do. They made a list, and buried it under a tree. Then, one night, right after a thunderstorm, there was a knock at the door. They opened it and to their surprise… they found […]
Thursday, September 6, 2012 // Woot
Craig passed back and forth through his aunt’s empty apartment, twisting and untwisting the tie he was wearing around his finger as he did. There had to be a better explanation for Sylvia’s disappearance than ruining his first night out with Danielle. There HAD to be. “After Nestoras told me what was going on, I […]
Saturday, September 1, 2012 // Woot
One day in my early 20s my dad sat me down to teach me an important lesson that his dad had once taught him: How to sharpen a set of knives by hand. We spent the next couple of hours carefully honing his set of blades with an old-fashioned whetstone. And I walked away with […]
Thursday, August 23, 2012 // Woot
Seriously. What noise does a giraffe make? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Even if some acclaimed zoologist attributed some arbitrary onomatopoeia to the noise a giraffe makes, it’d probably be just as ridiculously inaccurate as, say, the noise a pig makes. Oink Oink? Really? I’ll give you one million dollars if you can bring […]
Friday, August 3, 2012 // Woot
No, good citizens, do not fear. This CRKT Van Hoy On Fire Knife doesn’t actually ignite when exposed to air. You can’t use it as some sort of mythical weapon of prophecy to lay claim to a kingdom. It will not vanquish any mystical beasts or villains. It will not give you any additional prowess […]
Wednesday, August 1, 2012 // Woot
Okay, yes – I see how the Diamond Wheels quickly sharpens both sides of a dull and damaged knife, and I see that the Ceramic wheels will polish it. I see that it’s quick and that it’ll take care of alloy, carbon, and stainless steel knives. But here’s the thing: where’s the setting for spoon? […]
Thursday, July 26, 2012 // Woot
Hey woah, why’s everyone jumping to these rash and litigious conclusions? We have absolutely no reason to suspect that Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri are in any danger now that she’s divorcing long-time Scientology acolyte Tom Cruise, and even LESS reason to suspect the two will be abducted by a group of highly-paid anti-thetan […]
Friday, July 6, 2012 // Woot
I’m certified to cut open an animal and crawl inside to survive a storm in the wild, and in my opinion there’s only one cutting instrument up to the task. The CRKT Crawford Triumph Knife is the only choice for the serious body-cavity survivalist. The 0.14″ blade will make short work of a moose sternum, […]
