Kershaw Folding Knife

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Hey woah, why’s everyone jumping to these rash and litigious conclusions? We have absolutely no reason to suspect that Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri are in any danger now that she’s divorcing long-time Scientology acolyte Tom Cruise, and even LESS reason to suspect the two will be abducted by a group of highly-paid anti-thetan ninjas and taken to a brainwashing center in the Hollywood hills.

That would be RIDICULOUS.

We were simply suggesting that maybe now that they have some free time, Katie and Suri could go camping or something, and that’s why she’d want to keep a Kershaw Folding Knife close by at all times for the rest of her life.Because they’re solid knives, is all! They boast a glass-filled nylon handle to keep them nice and light, heat-treated 8CR13MoV blade to keep an edge, SpeedSafe? assisted opening, and a Lifetime Kershaw Warranty backing them up! You never know when you’re going to need a good knife! No, we’re not implying she’d need it to fight off some kind of secret gang of thugs hired to steal her daughter in the night.

I mean, if that DID happen, a knife might help, but let’s focus on the much more plausible scenarios that they’ll go fishing or hunting or something. Yeah. Katie Holmes, expert angler. Much more plausible.

In the box:

• (1) Kershaw SpeedSafe Knife (choose either 1930ST Asset or 1940ST Compound)

Woot