Pro Edge Elite Electric Knife Sharpener

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Okay, yes – I see how the Diamond Wheels quickly sharpens both sides of a dull and damaged knife, and I see that the Ceramic wheels will polish it. I see that it’s quick and that it’ll take care of alloy, carbon, and stainless steel knives.

But here’s the thing: where’s the setting for spoon? Seriously, I’ve pressed all the buttons on this Pro Edge Elite Electric Knife Sharpener, and no matter what, it always comes out a knife, never a spoon.

Why would I want to turn a knife into a spoon? Well, because I’m just tired of all the cutting, all the slicing, all the carnage! I want to scoop! I want to support! I want to take some downtrodden soup and lift it out of its terrible, crowded living arrangement! Yes, you could point out that eventually the soup will end up in my mouth, after which point, it’ll never be seen again, but then you’re missing the point. You’re looking at the big picture and not the moment of glory that the soup experiences as it sits there, above the bowl, surveying the sad scene that used to be its life.

Follow-up question: can this thing turn forks into plates?

Operating Manual

In the box:

• (1) Smith Pro Edge Elite Electric Knife Sharpener

Woot