CRKT Crawford Triumph Knife

Friday, July 6, 2012

I’m certified to cut open an animal and crawl inside to survive a storm in the wild, and in my opinion there’s only one cutting instrument up to the task. The CRKT Crawford Triumph Knife is the only choice for the serious body-cavity survivalist.

The 0.14″ blade will make short work of a moose sternum, giving you immediate access to the beast’s warm, protective torso. While the winds whip and whistle overhead, you’ll be humming merrily to yourself and wiping mooseblood from your Triumph. The knife’s dual-grind tanto is particularly useful when cutting open the bodies of reptiles and crawling inside to survive a storm in the wild. Komodo Dragon, Monitor Lizard, and Chickenosaurus scales will slough off like ripe figs in the wind beneath the tanto’s steel edge.  While reptiles are inferior animals to cut open and crawl inside to survive a storm in the wild because of their cold-blooded metabolism, remember the old adage: “Any animal to cut open and crawl inside in a storm.”

Finally, the patented AutoLAWKS safety mechanism will ensure that your blade doesn’t spring open while you slumber in the safety of your thorax. It also ensures that no smaller creatures cut you open and crawl inside your body to survive a storm in the wild: My one persistent, nightmarish fear.  

In the box:

• (1) CRKT Crawford Knife
• First Choose Blade: Triumph Razor Edge or TriumphT Partially Serrated
• Second Choose Design: Black or Tiger Striped

Woot