Aussie Ice Slushy Maker (Set of 2)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

It had been a long week. Like, a REALLY long week. After the Amanda debacle at the store, and the fact that Tim and Todd just couldn’t seem to get enough of each other, Michelle really needed some liquid refreshment of the adult variety. Or better yet, a SLUSHY refreshment of the adult variety.

She opened the cabinet and looked for the Aussie Ice Slushy Maker. It took her a minute, but she finally found it shoved way in the back behind all the Dora and Diego collector’s cups they kids had gotten in their Happy Meals.

When they first got the slushy makers, Jake couldn’t get enough of them. He had successfully slushified lots of edible and inedible things: Kool-Aid, milk, tomato soup. But the Windex was the final straw for Michelle, and she banned him from using them anymore.

She started reading the back of the packaging for directions, then quickly realized that her stress level was causing her to imagine her own product features.

• Includes everything all the liquid courage you need to turn your favorite drink into a Slushy best friend into the looney bin.
• Great with all sorts of kid’s beverages ways to be rid of your ungrateful kids –  juices abandonment, sodas adoption, chocolate milk boarding school, Kool-Aid eBay, etc.
• Place Aussie Ice Slushy Maker in your freezer, and the salt water inside the cup’s walls will freeze hard enough to sufficiently crack your brother over his thick skull.
• Then fill the cup with your favorite drink booze/pharmaceutical cocktail and it will become a slushy treat welcome escape in 1-2 minutes.
• Unlike making a Slushy with ice in the blender murdering your husband in cold blood, the Aussie Ice Slushy Maker doesn’t add anything to drink implicate you in a homicide, so the flavor doesn’t get watered down you won’t spend the rest of your life in jail.
• Sets includes two Slushy Makers, each featuring a cup with lid, an insulating sleeve, and a spoonstraw to gouge out your eyeballs, so you can enjoy every last slushy bite.

Michelle paused for a moment, then placed the Slushy Maker back in the cabinet … like, WAY back in the cabinet … and decided to take a bubble bath instead.

In the box:

• (2) Aussie Ice Slushy Makers (choose from red or pink)

Woot