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DeMarini Tee Ball Bats

All right, Teeny Tiny Boppers, that was a hard fought seven innings. Everyone, I want to say I was proud of everyone for their hard work and teamwork and stuff. Great job, team! But I would be remiss as your coach if I didn’t address the…situation at the end of the game. George, I appreciate […]

Smith’s Electric Knife Sharpener

Pamela looked down at the tomato on the counter that she had absolutely obliterated with her dull chef’s knife. It was all smashed on one side, and the seeds and juice had squirted out. Maybe it was her mood or her overwhelming feeling of guilt, but she thought it looked like a homicide scene where […]

Aveeno Organic Harvest Set

Mommy said until I can be a more responsible big sister around Gavin, I don’t get to be alone with him anymore. So I got this baby doll to show her that I can be a good big sister. Baby doll was hungry so I fed baby doll all my favorite foods: hot dogs, peanut […]

JLab JBuds J3 Earbuds

Back in 1986, I was what they called an “Icehead.” I spent half a year following Australian band Icehouse on their tour across Florida, Mississippi, Alabama and Stalingrad. I don’t even think there WAS a Stalingrad in 1986. That’s what a huge fan I was! But even me, who my friends call “Mr. Primitive Man” […]

Pandora’s Box

“I really don’t think you should do it.” “Come on! Maybe there’s treasure inside!” “I don’t think there is, Anesidora. Didn’t you read the label? ‘All the evils of mankind.’” “They only put that stuff on there to scare people off.” “Maybe it’s worth investigating why people would want to scare us off from opening […]

Merleaux Sonoma County Red Blend (5)

I see you over there. Smiling all ironically with your glass of Merleaux Merlot in hand. Wearing your Department of the Redundancy Department shirt. While that last part makes me want to punch you in the face a little, I can appreciate the creativity and wit behind your clever little name. What I can appreciate […]

uNu iPhone 4/4S Battery Case

This uNu isn’t just another iPhone 4/4s case; it’s an iPhone 4/4s BATTERY case! That means it doesn’t just look cool and protect your iPhone; it keeps it charged longer too. It’s almost like if someone designed a shirt that was also three cups of coffee! (Quick tangential question: would you, hypothetically, buy a shirt […]

Sony Tablet P w/ Dual 5.5″ Touchscreens

“Sir, we’ve done it! We’ve discovered a way to travel back in time!” “Excellent news. How did you manage it?” “Our team tried nearly everything. Finally we found that if we took a Sony P dual-screen tablet, loaded this animated GIF* on each screen, and folded it so the GIFs were facing each other, the […]

LifeSpan S1 Indoor Cycle Trainer

You should use your LifeSpan S1 Indoor Cycle Trainer: for a solid cardio workout without having to spend tons of money on a gym membership. But hey, just because it’s got a nice price tag doesn’t mean its uncomfortable or cumbersome. No, it’s got a cushioned adjustable seat and built-in transportation wheels so it’s not […]

Cuisinart 9-Cup Food Processor -3 Colors

Hey, ‘sessor, Ho, ‘sessor Slow, ‘sessor, Go, ‘sessor Hey, ‘sessor, Ho, ‘sessor Slow, ‘sessor, Go, ‘sessor She put some whole fruit right through that big Supreme- wide mouth feeding tube, like a dream She said “Next time dough, It makes it easy, you know” Mmmm choppy choppy resists shatters Shred and knead, BPA free This […]