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Household Uses

Here we are, folks, at the bottom of the pop culture comedy mine. We’ve run dry. These jokes are an un-renewable resource, y’know. It takes decades for a fresh or interesting take on an old sci-fi film to matriculate. But did we care enough to exercise restraint and ease back our consumption? No. And now […]

Outdoor Wino Mix by Naked Winery (4)

Usually our descriptions on Wine.Woot are pretty silly because wine doesn’t require much explanation. The standard story is: Open -> Drink -> Funtimes. But these Naked Winery Outdoor Wino bottles call for a bit more. Here’s the thing: The summer is full of outdoor activities in which big glass bottles and cardboard boxes aren’t up […]

NeatDesk Desktop Scanner

That so clutter up your desk And so easily go missing? Whose small numbers loom so big At the perilous time E’ery April Fifteenth In the exemptions you’re claiming? Can this scanner, Neatdesk, Recognize all that text And prove to the feds That your return is correct? Oh, pray that this high-speed desk Scanner yet […]

Swann FreeStyle 1080p Action Cam

So, Derrick, how are things going with Cheryl? You guys seem really happy together! “Oh yeah, man! It’s great! And this past weekend: magical!” Ah, say no more! I know exactly what you’re talking about! “Yeah, I mean it was just awesome. We got up at the crack of dawn and just got straight to […]

Kawaii Puft

Marshmallows are considered “Nature’s Candy” by no one. The marshmallow was brought to the Mediterranean in the 14th century and killed over 100 million people. A marshmallow is created whenever a child stops believing in Santa Claus. Marshmallows collect balls of dung which they feed to their offspring in underground chambers. Every marshmallow you eat […]

Vines on the Marycrest ‘Round Midnight

$ 64.99 $ 100.00 35% off List Price Quantity 123 Hurry only 1 left! 4 hours left – OR – until sold out buy now Red? Vines? Have the prophecies come true?! Oh. Never mind. It’s just a Vines on the Marycrest 2007 ‘Round Midnight Red 4-Pack. I mean, that’s good, too. It’s a great […]

Ooma Telo VoIP Home Phone System

Welcome, Initiate 20081, to our august and secret society. You have been chosen for your steadfastness, discretion, and desire to retain the ancient landline technologies. Know this: The initiation rites are harsh, many fail them, but if you make it through you will be granted an Ooma VOIP Home Phone and become a Keeper of […]

iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum – $159.99

The Man Was Book Smart, But Maybe Not So Street Smart The New First Law Of Robotics: Humans should always have more fun than robots. Yes, Uncle Isaac, you were a genius. But you were also around in a time when people thought the paddle-ball was a suitable way to spend an afternoon. So let’s […]

Swann FreeStyle 1080p Action Cam – $139.99

LOOK MA, NO HANDS! That’s not at all what I meant when I said “hands-free.” I blame myself. Kirk is a nice guy, but not a lot going on up top if you know what I mean. When I told him that he could film his ride hands-free, I was talking about my new Swann […]

Plantronics Voyager Pro UC Headset

Always Look Busy A clipboard? That’s so 1970s. EVERYBODY knows the ol’ clipboard gag. Today somebody walking around with a clipboard is going to get stopped. Who still uses clipboards, anyway? These days, it’s all done on the phone. That’s why when you want to look 21st Century busy, you want a Plantronics Pro UC […]