Microsoft Wireless Mobile Mouse 4000 – $4.99

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The old saying is true.

Some things were meant to last. Other things are poorly-fabricated publicity stunts.

Dear Kim Kardashian,

Hi there! How are you doing? I mean, I guess you’re probably not doing so well, what with the divorce and all. Sorry. I don’t mean to just put it out there like that, but it’s all over the news. You’ve probably gotten a few letters of condolence already, I imagine.

Which brings me to my next point. Are you sending back the gifts?

Because I sent you Microsoft Wireless Mobile Mouse 4000, and if you’re not married any more I’d sure like it back. It’s a nice mouse. It’s got BlueTrack so you can use it on just about any surface, and it’s got a wireless range of up to 15 feet. I know it’s not much to a mega-star like you, with all your fame for…for…wow, that’s weird. I just realized I don’t really know why you’re famous. Huh. Did you do something before taping yourself having sex and releasing it on the Internet? ‘Cause before that happened I have a hell of a time remembering any news about you.

Anyway, this is off track. Suffice to say, you spent $ 10 million on a sham of a wedding, so I’m betting you could just buy one of your own. I included a return address when I sent it, so feel free to just bounce it right back.

Sort of like your ex-husband.

Sorry. That was out of line. I’m sure the next episode of your reality show will be scripted in a way that makes you look devastated.

Sorry. That was out of line, too.

Sincerely,

Reginald ValRey Johnson, III

Warranty: 3 Year Microsoft

Condition: New

Features:

• Carry this compact and sporty wireless mouse, and use it just about anywhere, even on your living room carpet, relying on Microsoft BlueTrack Technology
• BlueTrack Technology combines the power of optical with the precision of laser for remarkable tracking on virtually any surface
• Leave the Plug-and-Go Nano Transceiver plugged into your computer’s USB port or tuck it into the underside of the mouse for travel
• Enjoy the 2.4GHz wireless technology, which delivers a reliable connection with up to a 15-foot range and virtually no interference
• Use your mouse for up to 10 months without having to change batteries
• Battery status indicator tells you when battery power is low
• Flip 3D in Windows 7, easily switch between open windows with the click of a button
• Four-way scrolling for greater efficiency and comfort with Tilt Wheel Technology
• Four customizable buttons give you quick access to the media, programs, and files you use most often
• Requires (1) AA alkaline battery, included
• Dimensions: 4.04” L x 2.39” W

In the box:

• (1) Microsoft Wireless Mobile Mouse 4000 (Choose: White, Wool Blue, Ruby Pink or Downtown)
• Nano Transceiver
• CD-ROM
• AA Battery

Woot! – One Day, One Deal