The Black Power Milkshake: Woot Weads The Wire
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
DETROIT (UPI) — A video showing a model of the underwear bomb allegedly used by terror suspect Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab may be shown in a federal court in Detroit.
And the world is again divided on the genius of Calvin Klein’s new marketing campaign.
OCALA, Fla. (UPI) — The owners of a Florida ice cream shop said they want to assure locals their white-hooded ice cream cone mascot is in no way associated with the Ku Klux Klan.
Sources hint the store hopes to focus on non-controversial treats in the future, such as the upcoming portable sundae they’ve named the Stokely Carmelcone.
GREEN BAY, Wis. (UPI) — A Wisconsin cemetery worker who said he respected “fine musical instruments” has admitted stealing a guitar from a dead man’s casket, police said.
Experts in Rock Law say ownership will hinge on what the jury finds more metal: being buried with a guitar or actually taking a guitar from the hands of a corpse.
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (UPI) — Police in Florida said they arrested a man accused of going to the apartment of his baby’s mother and throwing a chicken wing at her.
Witnesses reported it weren’t no thang.
STOCKHOLM, Sweden (UPI) — Hundreds of leeches were applied to a woman’s face to treat a large wound inflicted by her own dog, doctors in Sweden said.
Doctors are cautiously optimistic about the possibilities of suckcess.

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