Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum – $249.99

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Promotes Clean Floors And Unrealistic Body Image

Have you seen how thin Dyson is looking these days? I’m kind of worried about it.

I read in In Touch Weekly that it’s down to just 4.85 pounds. That can’t be good for it! Of course, my first thought was “eating disorder”. But my friend waited on Dyson at Cecconi’s and said it put away an entire wild mushroom & dust risotto and an order of fried calamari with unidentified floor crumbs. It was using its Root Cyclone Technology to the fullest that night – and my friend said it never slipped away to the bathroom to throw it all up.

So then I was like “it’s had work done.” I mean, yeah, we all know it had its cord removed and a 22.2V li-ion battery implanted. But I mean, like serious work. Those things those surgeons can engineer, people like me and you can’t even imagine. I saw a thing in US Weekly about those Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. I mean, come on, the Dyson looks like it’s made of high-end plastic.

But whatever it is, it’s sad. Sad that it feels the need to even do that. When will these celebrity vacuums learn that a big, voluptuous figure can be beautiful? Wait – what do you mean, “it’s a different model”? Look, forget it, you’ll have to explain it to me later. TMZ is on.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 6 Month Dyson

Condition: Refurbished

Features:

• Weighing a mere 4.85 pounds and is cordless offering you greater freedom
• Powered by the Dyson digital motor
  – up to 3 times faster than conventional motors
• Dual Power Mode
  – 15 minutes of high constant suction (13 minutes with motorized floor tool attached)
  – 6 minutes on MAX power for more difficult tasks
• Detachable long-reach wand cleans up high, down low and in tight gaps
• Ideal for quick, flexible cleaning on all floor types, stairs, upholstery and inside the car
• Root Cyclone Technology
  – Powerful centrifugal forces spin dust and dirt out of the air and into the bin with no loss of suction
  – patented technology that doesn’t lose suction power as you vacuum
• Motorized floor tool with carbon fiber brushes
  – Ultra-fine, anti-static carbon fiber brushes clean hard floors
  – Rotating nylon brushes remove ground-in dirt from carpet
• Fade-free 22.2V Lithium-Ion Battery
  – Releases charge evenly throughout use
  – Recharges up to 3 times faster than others
• Combination Accessory Tool
  – Debris nozzle converts to a brush tool for dusting
• Crevice Tool
  – High velocity airflow crevice tool ideal for cleaning base boards and in-between furniture

Additional Photos:

• Detachable long-reach wand
• DC35 on Charging Base
• Closeup of DC35
• Perfect for inside the car!
• Motorized Floor Tool
• Charging Base w/ Tools
• Package Contents

Technical Specifications:

• Patented cyclone technology: Root Cyclone Technology
• Suction power Air Watts (constant):
  – 65 Air Watts at end of wand in Max Mode
  – 28 Air Watts at end of wand in Standard Mode
• Cleaner Head / Floor Tool: Motorized floor tool with carbon fiber brushes
• Bin Capacity: 0.09 gallons
• Power: 22.2V Li-Ion Battery
• Dimensions: 44.1” x 9.1” x 11.8” (H x W x D)
• Weight: 4.85 lbs

In the box:

• (1) Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum
• Li-Ion Battery
• AC/DC Power Adapter
• Battery Charger
• Quick Start Guide
• Combination Accessory Tool
• Crevice Tool
• Operating Manual

Woot! – One Day, One Deal