Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vac – $299.99

Sunday, April 8, 2012

The World Needed a Hero to Clean things up

You can always rely on your Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum, even after everything’s fallen apart.

Ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow is an important day in our history. At exactly 6am, the sirens will wake us, and we will go to the polls to elect the first ever Master-General of the Militarized Encampment Formerly Known as Peoria, Illinois. I stand before you not to endorse any man, woman, or child. No, I stand before you to endorse a machine: the Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum.

We will need someone with integrity, as we fight to hold our ground. We will need someone with resolve to lead us against the cannibalistic gangs of Former Galesburg, the mutant forces of Bloomington-AbNormal, and the mostly fine but not entirely pleasant residents of Weirdly-Intact-Decatur. I believe this Neato to be just the machine for the job.

You might be wondering, when did this Neato cease to simply be one of the smartest, most powerful robot vacuum cleaners and become something greater, something with the rock-solid moral integrity and intelligence that we seek in leader? No one is entirely sure of that. Some say it was when the free-roaming Moline Militia leveled the house it once cleaned. Its “recognized doorways” all destroyed, the Neato had no choice but to enter an “unrecognized doorway,” the doorway into its own subconscious, where it achieved a level of enlightenment most-often associated with gurus or spiritual advisors.

Others suggest its trip to the Ruins of City Hall as the turning point. Ash covered much of the lobby from when vagrants had used all the portraits of former mayors to start a bonfire, but that didn’t discourage the Neato from cleaning. No, its high-performance vacuum worked in a precise back-and-forth motion until the entire grand room was spotless. Many suspect it was consuming this ash that had once shown the smiles of great men and storing it in its dirt bin – the largest dirt bin of any Robotic Vacuum, I might add – that imbued the Neato with the soul of a true leader.

But I digress. The “how” of it is not important. What is important is that you do not overlook a superior candidate simply because it has kept a low profile – low enough to go under sofas, tables and beds with ease, in fact.

So, when you go to the hastily-built polling tent tomorrow, don’t just vote for the leader you like; vote for the leader we need – the Neato XV-12 All Floor Robotic Vacuum.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 1 Year Neato

Condition: New

Features:

• Product Video
• Designed to meticulously clean floors on a daily basis, this all-floor robotic vacuum cleaner covers every inch of your floors, smartly seeing and working around furniture, stairs, and more. A simple user interface allows you to schedule it to clean your rooms while you are away.
• Neato’s laser-based Room Positioning System gives the robot vacuum a full 360-degree view of a room so it can create a map of the room, detecting walls, doorways, furniture and other obstacles.
• Using its map, the Neato avoids most obstacles that other robots can only detect by impact. Just press the Start button and your Neato determines the best cleaning path to clean the floors using its unique, methodical straight-line pattern.
• Once it finishes cleaning one entire room, it drives through one of the “recognized doorways,” to start cleaning the next room. And, with its powerful vacuum suction, it picks up all your dirt, debris, and pet hair on your floors.
• Bonus accessories include:
  – 1 Replacement Squeegee Blade
  – 4 Extra Filters
  – 6 Replacement Brush Blades
• Smart – The Room Positioning System (RPS) is the proprietary technology that makes Neato as smart as–sometimes smarter–than a human housekeeper.  Go ahead and rearrange the furniture: Neato will adapt its course without missing a beat.
• Powerful – The high-performance vacuum inside your robot works in a precise back-and-forth motion, picking up even tiny specks, and easily sliding under sofas, tables and beds.
• Simple – Just charge it up, press the Start button, and watch it work. Once it’s finished in one room, it will begin working in the next–or return automatically to its base for recharging and resume cleaning where it left off.
• Schedule everyday cleaning with a few simple button presses and your house is always ready for guests, even when you’ve been out all day.
• It works on all floor types–carpet, rugs, hardwood, Pergo, and tile–so you never have to clean another floor, even in your bathroom.
• It uses the most powerful vacuum system with efficient air flow and suction to clean up dirt, dust, and pet hair
• Easy to Use – Just press start and it cleans for you
• Low maintenance design means you just need to empty the dirt bin between cleanings
• Neato cleans using a back and forth pattern, ensuring that it thoroughly cleans all of your floors
• Largest dirt bin in a robotic vacuum—its easy to access and empty
• Designed as a true vacuum with a beater brush and the strongest suction available in any robotic vacuum cleaner
• Scuff-free navigation: At the vacuum’s core is a centrifugal compression impeller that follows jet engine airflow principles. It creates sustained high-powered suction, allowing the Neato to thoroughly pick up dirt and debris
• Dimensions: 16″ x 16″ x 3″

In the box:

(1) Neato XV-12 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner includes:

• Charging Base
• Power Adapter
• Batteries
• Quick Stark Guide
• User’s Guide

(1) Accessory Kit includes:

• (1) Replacement Squeegee Blade
• (4) Replacement Filters
• (6) Replacement Brush Blades

Woot! – One Day, One Deal