Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer – $99.99

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

At Least As Good As A Michael Bay Script

The 11th President of the United States? Yeah, he was all about the low end.

People think the subwoofer got popular in the ‘90s, with the rise of huge booming bass. But would you be surprised to learn the Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer has roots in the year of Wagner and Mendelssohn? Would you be surprised to learn the heavy-duty, non-resonant MDF cabinet was designed in a White House that used to be THE place for 19th Century club kids to “make the scene”? Come join us on a dramatized reenactment of… The Birth Of The Subwoofer!

THE DATE: March 4, 1845. James Polk opens the doors to Le Chateau Presidently, the most exclusive after-hours club in the nation. But before the night is over, well-wishers storm out, saying they cannot feel any power behind the white label pre-release opera later to be known as Tannhauser. Polk collapses in tears and goes into seclusion, and papers report his presidency may be finished before it begins.

LATER THAT EVENING: Polk secludes himself in an “Electro-nics” lab with a time traveling Doc Holiday. Holiday proposes a sort of “sound cannon” that could shoot bass instead of bullets. Polk arranges to have the Oregon Territory acquired for use as a testing ground, fearing the state-of-the-art Klippel distortion analyzer would be too much for the civilized “high society” of Washington D.C.

WITHIN THE WEEK: Holiday returns from the future with John DeLorean as a hostage, and a USB power hookup as a gift. Polk finishes the “Flared Port” shape to increase efficiency and demands DeLorean be returned to his own time. Holiday refuses and the two men fight with swords over a lava chasm. Polk emerges victorious and, newly confident, announces Le Chateau Presidently is again open for business. Only this time, the deep, powerful bass is unlike anything the hoi polloi have ever heard. And almost immediately, America is saved! From aliens! Who are defeated by the power of dance! And an exploding unicorn!

Today the Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer is just considered a way to add a little extra “oomph” to your system. But without it, our 11th President might never have defeated the T’zzinkas from Guadalupe Seven. So don’t just buy the Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer because it will make your home theater sound better. Buy it because without the Polk Audio 8″ Wireless Subwoofer… there might not have been… an America.

Footnote: All historical data for The Birth Of The Subwoofer was gathered from an oral history as told by first graders who were eating cake.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 5 Year Speaker; 3 Year Electronics Polk Audio

Condition: New

Features:

• Add 70 Watts of serious bass impact to movies and games, with no cable-length limits on where you put it
• It has a powerful wireless transmitter that allows you to put it anywhere in your room (even inside furniture). It doesn’t call attention to itself, until it senses a signal and snaps to attention and you experience its big bass output!
• For the deepest bass possible, the heavy duty, non-resonant MDF cabinet is internally braced and ported, and fires a Dynamic Balance® driver down toward your floor
• Flared port smoothes air flow, increasing efficiency and revealing accurate, musical bass
• A Polk perfected method of analyzing a speaker’s microscopic behavior with laser interferometry helps tune out unwanted resonance and distortion with the right combination of materials, geometry and construction techniques for pure, distortion free sound
• By using a state-of-the-art Klippel distortion analyzer, Polk engineers were able to optimize the woofer’s motor structure, voice coil alignment and suspension bringing you the best possible performance even at extreme listening levels
• Comes with a wall power supply and a USB power hookup for use with compatible TV, PC, A/V receiver or game console
• Passes the industry’s most exhaustive quality tests, including drop testing, extreme signal response and UV & salt exposure testing
• Can be hard wired into your receiver (cables not included)

Additional Photos:

• Controls
• Bottom Profile
• Package Contents

In the box:

• Polk Audio PSWi-8M 8″ Wireless Subwoofer
• Wireless USB Transmitter
• USB Power Adapter
• USB Cable
• RCA Cable

Woot! – One Day, One Deal