10″ Luxury Memory Foam Mattress – Queen

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hark, beautiful and unknown Lady of the City! ‘Tis I, your humble and much-enamored hero, who did but miss a chance to introduce myself with a gentle word and a kiss upon thy lovely hand. Had it not been for that foul beast of a Prius, we might be together this very day! Woe be to those of the Kingdom of Ford for such a foul, consciousness-stealing blow.

But fear not, gentle maiden, for in the weeks of bone-mending and healing I had to endure, I reflected upon the vision of your loveliness which I beheld that day outside what I assume to be thy castle. The way the sunlight gleamed upon your spectacles, the way the wind tossed your dark hair about, even the way your t-shirt with the somewhat disappointing visual pun hung upon your wonderful frame fueled the fires of my desire. I can still hear the grunt you made as you attempted to drag the tube containing the queen-sized 10″ Luxury Memory Foam Mattress that had been delivered to your tower door when I close my eyes. ‘Tis like a mental wind chime to my soul.

Do not think that I am some creeping devil for knowing of your love for the combination of next-generation memory foam and energy absorbing Intellifoam on a polyurethane base, kind woman. ‘Twas the delivery person who did call the ambulance that stole me away from you. As I lay there in his arms, bleeding internally, I begged him to tell me your name. Alas, he would not due to fear of a lawsuit. However, to keep my awake until the healers of the realm arrived, he regaled me with tales of the two-and-a-half inch pillowtop, the airflow ducts that would provide a soft coolness to your body, and supportive four pound density. In small amount of time I had before blacking out, I wished to be that mattress more than anything else in the Kingdom.

Prithee, heart-stealing beauty, if you do remember the commotion outside your building weeks ago and are enchanted by my tale, do seek me out using the box number below. I shall wait humbly for word of you affections.

P.S. I’m really into fantasy role-playing. I hope that’s not a deal-breaker. I did get run over by a car for you. Just sayin’.

Dimensions: 80″L x 60″W x 10″D

Important Notes:

• To maximize memory foam expansion; remove from packaging within 72 hours of receipt
• This mattress arrives very tightly packed. Please unwrap and allow 48 hours for it to return to its original shape
• Being sealed in plastic packaging will trap odors naturally produced by the memory foam composition. Usually, allowing the mattress to air out in a ventilated area will remove the odor
• Due to machine cutting manufacturing processes, there may be slight variances in the dimensions of this product

In the Box:

• (1) 10″ Luxury Memory Foam Mattress, Queen
• (2) Memory Foam Contour Pillows

Woot