Random Shirt

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

What is it in that Shirt.Woot shipping bag? It’s a shirt, right? Or is it? That’s just it; when it’s a random shirt, you really don’t know.

Who can prove that what’s in your Shirt.Woot bag is not in a perpetual state of flux until you lay your hands upon it? Can you really be sure that the softness you feel is because someone packed a soft shirt into a bag? Or is it that your mind EXPECTED softness and that expectation CAUSED softness?

Perhaps, before you reached for the bag, it was a spatula inside (or maybe nothing at all), but your approaching hands – carrying along with them, your thought process: “I have ordered something soft, therefore my hands will feel something soft” – perhaps it is those hands and those thoughts that turn the contents of the Shirt.Woot shipping bag into a shirt.

And perhaps it is in this same way that the Shirt.Woot shipping bag appears in your mailbox. Maybe it arrived as bill, or perhaps it never arrived at all, but your anticipation of its arrival has caused it to materialize.

In fact, who’s to say the MAILBOX ITSELF isn’t something planted by your mind each morning? Can you be sure that it doesn’t uproot each moment you turn your back to it?

And how do you get to your mailbox? By walking to it. On your legs. But do you have legs, or is this just a projection? Are your legs simply a product of your unshakeable belief that you have legs? What if you somehow convinced yourself that you don’t have legs but octopus tentacles to move around? Would you then grow those tenta-

HOLY CRAP!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LEGS?!? THEY’RE ALL TENTACLE-Y!!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!

Wear this shirt: into the great unknown.

Don’t wear this shirt: to that restaurant where you always get the same thing.

This shirt tells the world: “I’ll take what’s behind door 1.”

We call this color: very nice! Really brings out your eyes!

Woot