Table Lamp 2-Pack with Shades

Monday, July 23, 2012

“Look, I got rid of the painted-velvet nudes. Or I put them in storage, at least. Can’t we just say I’ve made my commitment to change for the week?” He looked to his left where his shopping companion had been and found no one. He craned his neck as he scanned the department store for her. “Pam? Hey, Pam, where’d you go?”

“Psst.”

Rod turned his head and saw Pamela sitting on a display bench and trying hard to look inconspicuous while totally looking conspicuous. “Pam, what are you doing? This whole trip was your idea.”

“Ixnay on the amela-Pay,” she muttered, while holding a tissue to her mouth. “They know me here, and they know… ylvia-Say, too.”

“Right. Because we wouldn’t want to upset the person who’s upset with you for making something better than her catered dish, would we?” Rod sighed. “Come on, Pam. We had a deal: I help you better your cooking, and you help me better myself. Now which two-pack of lamps says ‘I’m an alright, non-creepy guy some lady would be lucky to sleep with’ the best?”

Pam rolled her eyes as she got up and walked over to Rod. She looked over each selection, carefully. “Well, aside from them all being 28-inches tall and made of polyresin, I can see how you might be a little flummoxed. Do you go with the simple, understated Classic? The contemporary, yet intriguing old-world design of the Regal? The sleek Italian look of the Wilson straddles the line between formal and casual design, but you may want something that exudes comfort like the Harrison. Oh, but I do think these Brantwood lamps are awfully romantic, and so elegant and charming, too. And look, Rod, these designs are exclusive to this store, and the bulbs and the shades are included. That will speak to your style, surely, but…”

“Hi!” Pamela and Rod looked over to find a bouncy, somewhat buxom young woman grinning at them. “Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Pamela scoffed. “No, dear, I’ve…”

“Now, now,” Rod interrupted, “let’s not interrupt her. After all, she’s only trying to help.” He raised his eyebrow and stretched a confident smirk across his face. “Tell me…” He paused to run his eyes across her chest before settling on her name tag. “Lisa, which of these sets is more… attractive to you?”

Lisa pointed to one, Rod wasn’t sure which. He was too focused on her shining blue eyes. “That one,” she nearly chirped. “I really like that one.”

“Well then, my friend and I will take it. Say, Ruttles Department Store doesn’t provide personal home delivery do-OW!” 

Rod clutched his shoulder where Pamela had punched it and found her glaring at him. “Etter-bay erson-pay.” she muttered.

He turned back to Lisa and gave her a sheepish grin. “Never mind.”

Lamp Base Dimensions: 28″T x 5.75″W

In the box:

(Choose Your Style)

• (2) Matching Table Lamps with Shades
• (2) 13W CFL Light Bulbs

Woot