House of Malcontent

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

So there are cute animals representing the four houses from the “Song of Fire and Ice” series of books…no problem, right? And look! They’re fighting with each other and awwww isn’t that cute and WAIT A SECOND NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS SERIES. It would be like if there was an animated version of “A Clockwork Orange,” or a paint-by-numbers book for “American Psycho.” That’s just wrong.

Of course, there is the possibility that it’s designed for adults who just enjoy the cute, cartoony art. And not that there’s anything PARTICULARLY wrong with that, but…c’mon guys. I mean, different strokes for different folks, it takes all kinds, to each their own and all that, but…c’mon guys.

Maybe if you were a seventeen year-old you’d be right in this shirt’s Venn diagram overlap. Even that might be a little young for some of the, y’know, “Lannister love” that happens in the books. So let’s say late-17-year old. Like 17 years and 9-to-10 months. And mature for their age.

Hold on, one of the business people is knocking on the writer’s room door. Just a second…

Wear this shirt: no matter your demographic — disregard above statement.

Don’t wear this shirt: all the time or you wouldn’t need two of them!

This shirt tells the world: “I make superlative purchasing decisions.”

We call this color: or black thereof.

Woot