Heavy Lifting

Monday, August 27, 2012

Eastern European Swallows can carry ten times their weight, but rarely do, because they suffer from motivation issues.

Canadian Swallows are frightened by the flapping of their own wings. This means, they have a difficult time taking off, but when they do, they fly extremely fast, trying to out-run the wings they see flapping in their periphery.

Australian Swallows tend to carry baggage, both in the literal and the figurative sense.

Midwestern Swallows have never been spotted close up. In fact, all birds believed to be Midwestern Swallows are just ducks in the distance.

Icelandic Swallows relieve themselves once-a-day at exactly 3:16pm. So, if you’re in Iceland, and it’s 3:15, get inside. Quickly.

Wear this shirt: when you’re watching that movie. Again.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re having those thoughts that go like, “Am I a little too obsessed with what is a good comedy but not really much more than that?”

This shirt tells the world: “You want quotes from that movie? Cuz I got em!”

We call this color: we are the knights that say black.

Woot