8″ Memory Foam Mattress – Queen or King

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

For the record, Brant was NOT OK with Raoul moving in. But before he knew it, he was helping the home wrecker squeeze and maneuver an 8″ memory foam mattress into their guest bedroom.

Turns out the big, strong hero was a total prima donna about his sleeping arrangements. He just couldn’t live without the space age foam “cradling” his body and “reducing pressure points that cause tossing and turning” for the three whole days he’d be staying with them until his floors were refinished.

There were a lot of questionable things going on between Lesley and Raoul, but for his own sanity, Brant would either just brush them off or interject somehow. For instance, as soon as they got the mattress into position, Raoul climbed in and invited Lesley to try it out. She literally leapt at the chance.

“You see, the 3-inch core foam support structure contains air flow channels to direct cool air throughout, so you never get too warm. Unless, of course, we were to spoon like this,” Raoul explained as he snuggled up close to Lesley.

In an awkward defensive maneuver, Brant wedged himself between the two of them and sprawled out, “accidentally” hitting Raoul across the face in the process.

“Oh yeah, I totally see what you mean, Raoul,” said Brant sarcastically. “What is this, like a medium firmness? It’s really quite supportive. So tell me, does it ever need to be turned?”

“No,” replied Raoul while rubbing his now-bruised nose. He got up and left the room, and Lesley followed.

And that’s pretty much how the next few days went. Lesley and Raoul made marinara from scratch. Lesley and Raoul watched a “Sex and the City” marathon. Lesley and Raoul got manis and pedis. Lesley and Raoul … wait.

It suddenly dawned on Brant that he didn’t have to worry about Lesley and Raoul, because there was absolutely no chance whatsoever that there would ever actually be a “Lesley and Raoul.”

Important Notes:

• To maximize memory foam expansion; remove from packaging immediately
• This product arrives very tightly packed, please unwrap and allow 48 hours for this product to return to its original shape
• Being sealed in plastic packaging will trap odors naturally produced by the memory foam composition, please allow 1 to 2 weeks for the odor to dissipate completely
• Due to machine cutting manufacturing processes, there may be slight variances in the dimensions of this product

In the Box:

(1)  8″ Convection-Cooled Memory Foam Mattress and Pillows (choose from queen or king) includes:

• (1) 8″ Convection-Cooled Memory Foam Mattress
• (2) Bonus Standard-Size Memory Foam Contour Pillows

Woot