Black Tie Wine Bags, Random 5-Pack

Thursday, October 11, 2012

But not totally unacceptable. There are always a few exceptions to every rule. If you want to give Uncle Boxcar a bottle of California’s finest and dress that thing up in something brown, yet crumpled paper package to remind him of his days riding the rails, sleeping under overpasses, and snuggling with rabid possums while eating beans cooked right in the can, we certainly don’t want to stop you.

But for the other members of your family who haven’t been in and out of jail for vagrancy, perhaps a nice, satiny gift bag with a fetching matching circular band for securing it would look nice under the Christmas tree. You may even randomly get the gold fabric bag with a black bow tie that has the elastic built right in! Fancy! People who have never tasted the freedom of never having to answer to anyone but the officer busting you for urinating in public will love it, and you’ll have added a little extra class to your holiday get-together.

Which is good, ’cause once Uncle Boxcar breaks out his infamous sock whiskey, the whole day kind of goes downhill.

Woot