Much you have to learn

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Like ninjas, cats are bloodthirsty monsters.

Awwww. Cute cat ninjas! How adorable. There’s nothing more precious than an obligate carnivore trained in the art of cold-blooded assassination. Isn’t that wight, widdle buddy?

Look at him swish his little tail in that adorable little ninjitsu costume! Did you know that cat tails are design to distribute their weight mid-pounce, such that slight changes in pray path can be compensated for. And did you know that some feudal Japanese ninjas slaughtered over 200 individuals apiece. How cuddly wuddly!

We may chide a cat when it brings home a dead bird or mouse, but doing so is in their nature. Really. Murder is part and parcel of feline DNA. They are DEATH MACHINES, PEOPLE.

Wear this shirt: to glorify Death’s unyielding sickle.

Don’t wear this shirt: if it’s covered in cat hair or you’ll be implicated in all those murders.

This shirt tells the world: “Death is a dish best served cold, in a saucer, with cream.”

We call this color: Slate Your Bloodthirst

Woot