Core Bamboo 14-Piece Kitchen Set

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Let’s be honest, you probably don’t need all this stuff in your “primary” kitchen. That is, the kitchen you use when you’re not living a lie. You’ve got plenty of cutting boards and wooden spoons there. However, your secret, scurrilous SECOND life’s kitchen could use a bamboo-inspired upgrade.

You’ve been renting the same seedy apartment to host your trysts and sublimated fetishes for years, and have barely bothered to make it livable. You’ve got, what, a can opener and a microwave to heat up the Hot Pockets you use to wash away the inextricable guilt you feel after every encounter? It’s time to upgrade to durable, eco-friendly bamboo kitchenware.

If you’re going to “work late” in a den of inequity, at least make it a livable den. You could get away with being a guilt-ridden mess who set hot pans down without a trivet back in your early 20s, but now you’re a grown up and it’s time to start protecting your surfaces.

And how will any of your morally-depraved consorts ever take you seriously lest you contain your bamboo utensils in some kind of bamboo-hewn container? No, this isn’t some kind of bizarre subculture of its own, it’s just how ADULTS store their utensils. Stop assuming the rest of the world is like you.

You monster.

In the Box:

(1) Core Bamboo 14-Piece Bundle includes:

• (1) Small Cutting Board
• (1) Medium Cutting Board
• (1) Large Cutting Board
• (1) Round Trivet
• (1) Square Trivet
• (1) Slotted Spatula
• (1) Spoon
• (1) Slotted Spoon
• (1) Salad Spork
• (1) Sauce Spatula
• (1) Perforated Spatula
• (1) Turner
• (1) Corner Slotted Turner
• (1) Sqaure Utensil Caddy

Woot