AC Delco Alkaline Batteries

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

“So … I need your help, but it’s a little embarrassing.”

It’s cool, man. We’re homies. I’d do anything for you …

“I need you to shave my back.”

Except for that.

“Oh come on! I have a date with that chick Julie tonight, and I can’t go like this.”

Why can’t you just do it yourself?

“Because I burned out the batteries in my electric razor shaving my …”

STOP RIGHT THERE! I don’t need to know. Here, I have like a bazillion AC Delco batteries. You need AA or AAA?

“AA. But seriously, man. I can’t reach it myself. Can you please do it? I’ll let you punch me in the junk.”

Open-fisted or closed?

“Closed.”

Ugh. Fine. Take off your shirt and let’s get this over … SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED! Dude, I don’t think I have enough batteries to get through all that, and these things have a long life!

“Just do what you can, alright? She’s gonna be here in like 5 minutes!”

Wait. She’s picking YOU up? Oh man. I don’t know why you’re even bothering but … there. Done.

“You totally just shaved something obscene into my back hair, didn’t you?”

Yep.

In the box:

• AC Delco Alkaline Batteries (Choose Battery & Pack Size)

Woot