LifeSmart 1500W Quartz Infrared Heater

Saturday, November 17, 2012

“What’s your name, baby? Oh, you don’t talk? Well, I guess I can see it right on that little plate you’re wearing. LifeSmart Quartz, huh? That’s a club name if I ever heard one. But that’s cool, I don’t want to get too serious.”

“So you’ve got some heat under there, don’t you? Mmm-MMM! You’re 1500 watts of heat in a 13.1″ x 16.9″ x 16.6″ package! Somebody call Sir Mix-A-Lot! Ha ha! No, I’m just kidding, I don’t really want to bother him this time of night. He works hard, man needs his beauty sleep.”

“So, uh, why don’t you and me roll them heavy duty caster wheels back to my bedroom and test out your quiet high-output fan? Because, um, I figure a hottie like you could … oh, hey man … listen, I didn’t even KNOW she was with you, all right? If I had … okay, okay, but I’ll tell you, you better keep a close eye on her, even if she does have fire retardant plastic and a safety shut-off switch. Because there ain’t no shut-off switch on your heart. And that one, one day, she’s gonna break it.”

“But don’t you worry about me, I’ll be fine. There are plenty of others like you in the sea.”

Danielle looked at Phil as the strange man staggered towards the door. “Did … that guy just try to make out with a LifeSmart 1500W Quartz Infrared Heater?”

Phil shrugged. “I ain’t judgin’ his business. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

• Voltage Rating: 120V (60Hz)
• Power Consumption: 1500W
• Dimensions: 13.1″(W) x 16.9″(H) x 16.6″(D)
• Weight: 19 lbs

In the box:

• LifeSmart 1500 Watt Quartz Infrared Heater
• Remote Control
• Instruction Booklet

Woot