Stone Cold Game Show: Woot Weads The Wire
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
GRANTHAM, England (UPI) — A mini-tornado scattered food when it lifted a back-yard gazebo off its foundation during a cookout, the owner of the gazebo in Britain said.
Sources say the Wizard of Oz is a real jerk when he’s been drinking.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) — A new version of the classic game show “Queen for a Day” is set to return to U.S. television, representatives for the series said.
Contestants will compete against each other to demonstrate their mastery of bass, drums, guitar, theatrical singing, multi-part harmonies, and astrophysics.
VENLO, Netherlands (UPI) — A 1-year-old Dutch toddler has been signed to a 10-year “professional” contract by a soccer team after a YouTube video showed him scoring “goals.”
Soccer experts say the toddler can try hard, but will probably never beat Italy’s record for crying on the field.
VATICAN CITY (UPI) — Pope Benedict XVI formally advanced his late successor, John Paul II, to one step away from full sainthood Sunday before a jammed square at the Vatican Sunday.
The Pope will now face his final challenge before sainthood: getting a marble into the center of a tennis racket before thirty seconds are up.
CLEVELAND (UPI) — A Cleveland artist said he spent more than 80 hours creating a portrait of British Prince William and fiancee Kate Middleton on an Etch A Sketch.
He was then reduced to tears when a mini-tornado flew in the room and shook it back to clear.
LONDON (UPI) — A British teenager says she has no qualms about beginning cosmetic surgery at age 12 in order to transform herself into the image of a Barbie doll.
The girl hope to one day achieve her long term goal of spending the rest of her life in a gay man’s display cabinet.
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