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Krampuses!!!

I remember back in the winter of 1973, Mike Bertsche and I were riding our bikes around the neighborhood (as kids were allowed to do back then). We were having a great time and kicking up all kinds of trouble, when out of nowhere this horrific fork-tongued monster tackled Mike off his Schwinn. Mike fought back, but the Krampus was impossibly strong, and shoved him violently into his burlap sack, blood streaking along the enclosure. I never saw Mike again.

And would I have had story like that to tell if I had grown up these days? No way! My mom probably would have insisted I stay inside where no child-abducting mythical beast could whisk me into the hills and perform who knows what kind of physical and sexual acts on me.

I guess those halcyon days are behind us forever. They’re never coming back.

Wear this shirt: until this meme has run its natural course.

Don’t wear this shirt: after this meme has run its natural course.

This shirt tells the world: “I want to take your children!! Oh hello, officer.”

We call this color: Cover Your Child In Silver Bells So You Can Track Them

Woot

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