Sweet Baby Ray’s Beef Jerky – 6 Pack
Thursday, January 3, 2013
[THE FOLLOWING IS A TRANSCRIPT FROM SWEET BABY RAY’S FAILED ‘THE JERKY BOYZ’ CASSETTE TAPE, RELEASED IN 2010. THE PROJECT FAILED WHEN IT BECAME CLEAR THAT BEEF JERKY WAS INCAPABLE OF SPEECH, AND THEREFORE INCAPABLE OF “PRANKING.”]
PRANK #1
VICTIM 1
Hello?
JERKY
…
VICTIM 1
Hello?
JERKY
…
VICTIM 1
Anybody there?
JERKY
…
VICTIM 1
OK then.
PRANK #2
VICTIM 2
Hello, Andy?
JERKY
…
VICTIM 2
Hello? I saw this 212 area code, and I think Andy has a 212 area code, but the caller ID didn’t recognize it. Andy?
JERKY
…
VICTIM
Well, Andy, I can’t hear you, but just tell your brother to meet me at Port Authority at 6:15. I think it’s the south wing.
JERKY
…
PRANK #3
VICTIM 3
…
JERKY
…
VICTIM 3
…
JERKY
…
VICTIM 3
…
[VICTIM 3 WAS ALSO JERKY, AS IT TURNED OUT.]
| Amount | % Daily Value | |
| Serving Size | 1 oz. | |
| Servings per Container | 3 | |
| Calories | 90 | |
| Calories from Fat | 10 | |
| Total Fat | 1g | 2% |
| Saturated Fat | 0g | 0% |
| Trans Fat | 0g | 0% |
| Cholesterol | 25mg | 8% |
| Sodium | 480mg | 20% |
| Total Carbohydrate | 6g | 2% |
| Dietary Fiber | 0g | |
| Sugars | 6g | |
| Protein | 11g | 22% |
| Vitamin A | 0% | |
| Vitamin C | 0% | |
| Calcium | 0% | |
| Iron | 6% | |
| Folate | 0% |
Ingredients: Beef, water, seasoning blend (salt, brown sugar, sugar, mustard, monosodium glutamate, dehydrated garlic, red pepper, sodium erythorbate, onion powder, spice extractive), brown sugar, Sweet Baby Ray’s jerky base (vinegar powder [dextrin, modified food starch, vinegar solids], tomato powder, pineapple juice power [maltodextrin, pineapple juice], Worcestershire sauce powder [distilled vinegar, molasses, corn syrup, salt, caramel color, garlic powder, sugar, spices, tamarind, natural flavor and sulfiting agents], maltodextrin), natural smoke flavor, spices, and not more than 2% silicon dioxide added to prevent caking, sodium nitrite. May contain wheat and soy.
In the box:
(6) Bridgford Sweet Baby Ray’s Beef Jerky, 3oz.
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