WMF 58-Piece 18/10 Flatware Set-2 Styles

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

“Hey Maurice,” said Lisa.

“Hey what?” said Maurice.

“Remember that old lady who was in here a couple weeks ago to exchange her flatware? She’s back,” she said while gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder.

“Hmmm,” said Maurice in a way that made Lisa pretty confident that he did remember, but he wasn’t going to admit it so easily. “Not sure. Can you tell me a little more about it.”

Lisa sighed. “The set was missing a piece.”

Jimmy had overheard the exchange and came over. “Which piece exactly?” he asked.

“You know which piece,” said Lisa.

“My memory’s not as good as it used to be,” said Maurice. “Why don’t you remind me?”

“I’m not going to say it,” said Lisa.

“Fine,” said Maurice with a bit of a pout. “What’s her problem this time?”

“She said the butter knives couldn’t even cut butter,” said Lisa.

“Ugh. This is my life, folks,” said Maurice sarcastically. “Just offer her one of these sets instead. They’re both high-grade Cromargan 18/10 stainless steel. This one has a softly squared handle and this one has more of a solid feel and a modern look.”

“Are they dishwasher safe?” Lisa asked. Maurice squinted at her. “WHAT? She’s gonna ask!”

“Yes, they’re dishwasher safe. And the knives are serrated, so she shouldn’t have any problem cutting butter with them or picking food from between her dentures with them or whatever else weird old person habit she has, alright?”

“Alright,” said Lisa.

“Fine,” said Maurice.

“Fine,” said Lisa.

As she was turning to return to the customer, Jimmy said “Don’t forget to ask her how that HOT MEAT FORK worked out for her!”

Lisa had had enough.

“You know what? YOU ask her! Because I’m done. Seriously, working with you two is like working with two children. And if I wanted to be harassed on a daily basis by pubescent 12-year-old boys, I would have become a middle school teacher!”

“Oooh. You would have been such a hot teacher!” said Maurice.

“That’s it! I QUIT!” said Lisa as she slammed her name tag down on the table and stormed out.

Jimmy ran after her. “Hey Lisa, wait a sec.”

Lisa was still too mad to accept an apology, but Jimmy blocked the door so she had no choice but to hear it.

“Listen,” he said. “I was thinking …”

Lisa crossed her arms and stared past him.

” … you wanna go out sometime? You know, now that you don’t work here anymore.”

Lisa was so shocked that she couldn’t help but laugh. She took out a pen and a piece of paper and started to write. When she was done, she folded it and handed it to him. Then she leaned in close to him and whispered, “Now don’t you forget that.” Then she smiled and walked out the door.

When she was gone, Jimmy screamed “YEAH!” and pumped his fist in the air. His delight was short-lived, however. When he opened the note it read:

“I’d rather stick a hot meat fork in my eye.”

In the Box:

• (1) WMF 58-Piece Stainless Steel Flatware Set (choose style)

Woot