Countdown Clocks Are Never Cool: Woot Weads The Wire
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
NEW YORK (UPI) — Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y., said Monday he lied to his wife, constituents and others about sending a lewd photo to a woman on Twitter, but will not resign.
Sources close to the Senator say they are expecting him to stick it out as long as he can, no matter how hard it may become.
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. (UPI) — With nearly 1,200 tornadoes reported so far, the 2011 season is destined for the U.S. tornado record book, meteorologists say.
In a related story, munchkins are demanding the Wizard focus immediately on the lax immigration policy of Oz.
LOS ANGELES (UPI) — Former child star Dakota Fanning has graduated from the private high school Campbell Hall in North Hollywood, UsMagazine.com reported.
Sources say she’s already looking forward to joining Jodie Foster and the Olsen Twins as people who creepy Internet stalkers finally give up on the day after they turn eighteen.
WASHINGTON (UPI) — Zookeepers in Washington say they have their ducks in a row just in case their giant panda Mei Xiang becomes pregnant.
Zookeepers in China say orderly ducks have nothing to do with panda reproduction and the zookeepers in Washington should stop being so stupid.
AUSTIN, Texas (UPI) — Psychologists at the University of Texas said they are keeping the art of the limerick alive by integrating the whimsical poems with department functions.
However the professor from Nantucket is looking into filing a harassment suit.
WASHINGTON (UPI) — Corn planting is closing in on 90 percent completed, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said Monday.
But experts have doubts, saying there is currently just one seed, and if it goes off-line early, the harvest could be delayed for weeks.
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