Spalding In-Ground 54″ Basketball System

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Use this: to practice your double-clutch hook-shot buzzer-beater dunk. Thanks to its board offset u-turn lift system, you can adjust the rim from 7 to 10 feet in small increments, so you can work your way up gradually. Now, the only problem is that the shot we’re talking about doesn’t exist.

Don’t use this: for your performance of Swimming to Cambodia. That’s Spalding Gray.

If you owned this, people would say: “Who’s that guy shooting free-throws in his driveway? Kyrie Irving?” (To be clear: we’re talking about people who know the names of basketball players, but nothing else about em.)

If this were a sports broadcaster, it would say: “These guys are dunking really hard. Trust me. I know. Thank god my rim effectively reduces shattering.” We didn’t say he was a good broadcaster, okay?

At a karaoke bar, this product sings: “Hoop! There it is!”

In the box:

(1) Spalding 88454G NBA 54″ Glass Backboard In-Ground Basketball System

Woot